I love these lists things. I don't know who comes up with these list things, but I throughly enjoyed responding to the florist one and I believe I'll throughly enjoy responding to .
First off, there is no universal list every guy should know about women. Because we are all different. Like each guy is different. It's impossible to create a universal list. Not to mention it's not going to be the same for every culture.
I'm probably someone who it could be typically aimed at and it still isn't universal to me.
1. Saying "I love you" immediately before, during, or following sex doesn't count.
I'll take it. I won't think you mean it, because sex is influencing you, but it's still nice to hear. When does a compliment/nice words ever get old? Unless you are creepy and stalking me.
2. Real men drive stick shift.
I could LITERALLY care less about how and what you drive. I'm not a car girl. Do I like the look of a Lamborghini? Yes, but you could drive a van and I won't care. I'm not really expecting to date a Lamborghini guy. I'm looking for personality. And I think the type of personality I'm attracted too won't be driving an Italian sports car. I'm not going to think you are any less of a man if you drive automatic. I'll probably think you are sensible. Stick is a pain. Although if you do drive it, I'm making you teach me.
3. I will leave if you lie.
It will depend on the lie. If you cheat and say you didn't and I lated find out you did you are fucked. I'm gone. If it's like, do you want to go see -insert movie- here and you don't want to go but you know I'll love it and you wouldn't mind (as in you recognize it won't kill you) going, and later I find out you didn't really want to go, I'm not going to mind. Because you are doing a nice thing for me. It depends on the lie and why.
4. You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts).
I'm a sucker for baseball players so for me, yes.
5. I'm convinced I'm pregnant and obsess about it for a minimum of 24 to 48 hours before my period, even when I have no rational reason to think so.
Not if there is no rational reason to think so. I'm only convinced I'm pregnant if I've dreamed it for the last week and there is an actual chance I could be pregnant. But otherwise, I don't think I'm pregnant. Why would I want to stress myself out that way?
6. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear.
Most of the time. If it's a complete and total surprise because I don't think you are in the same area as me I'll probably scream. I scream when I'm startled. Don't startle me, I'll take out your eardrums and that is never sexy. But the move in general is lovely.
7. "Fine" is never an appropriate response when I ask you how I look.
Yes it is. For a T-shirt and jeans, it better be. While I like hearing I'm pretty and beautiful, if you tell me that all the time I feel like it loses it's meaning. I might be beautiful in a t-shirt and jeans but fine will work, well, fine. I'm not going to coo over you ever single day, you shouldn't have to for me.
8. Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you.
Totally true.
9. I'm terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her.
Mostly just certain habits of hers. I'm terrified of becoming a hoarder and having a massive amount of newspapers barricade me in my house. That's the big one. I'm not really all that concerned about becoming my mother. I don't think it will happen most of the time because there are big differences between us. But I am a bit of a packrat and she is worse and I fear being featured on AMC's Hoarders.
10. I get turned on simply seeing that I have an e-mail from you.
Not if we are fighting.
11. I expect you to call me
Yes. I do. I cannot make all the communication efforts. Surefire way to have me headed out the door. Call sometimes. I know you know how a telephone works.
12. Only rock stars are allowed to wear leather pants.
No one. Is allowed. To wear. Leather Pants. Who invented this idiotic idea? I don't want to see them on anyone. I don't want to wear them. I imagine they are hideously uncomfortable. Sticking to your thighs. I don't even like leather couches.
13. I'm scared of losing my independence.
I most certainly am. But I've lost it before so I have good reason. If I hadn't, I probably wouldn't even consider the possibility.
14. I'm more forgiving of you than I really should be.
Probably.
15. Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. Manolo Blahnik shoes also do the trick.
Not for me. I have an aversion of the worst sort to oral. And I'd probably think you'd done something even worse if you bought me $500 shoes. And I LIKE shoes. Not all women are shoe women. We are not all Carrie Bradshaw from Sex in the City. Some of us (including myself) never got into SITC or like Carrie Bradshaw. Making me dinner would be a better solution. Unless you can't cook although I'll probably still enjoy the effort. Unless you fuck up my expensive kitchen equipment.
16. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not. (See directly above.)
I try to be generally easy to read. If I'm unhappy, it's pretty obvious. I'm not going to make you guess a thousand times over. I think that's so dumb when a girl/woman is like... I'm angry with my boyfriend, let's see if he can figure it out. I'm going to tell you. And I'm not going to seem cool about it unless I'm actually cool with it. I can't tolerate this sort of stupidity.
17. If I'm not having sex with you, I'm... a.) ...having a fat day. b.) ...not feeling "connected" to you. c.) ...blackmailing you to get something I want.
Yes, I don't want sex when I'm feeling fat. And I don't want sex when I'm feeling grumpy and not in the mood. I don't know what this not feeling connected shit is. Probably some sort of lame ass excuse. And while I have used sex as blackmail, I doubt I'll do it again. I don't see how this does anything other than drive a wedge into a relationship. Honestly. Let's not make a situation worse. I won't have sex if I'm angry at you and you seem adverse to listening to me. If you upset me, you won't be getting any. That would be way too much emotion running through me to handle at one time.
18. Shoes determine whether you're fashionable or not.
No.
19. I own a Debbie Gibson CD, and I'm not afraid to use it.
Who?
Although, you will be forced to listen to musicals if you date me. I'm a musical aficionado. I want to be a Broadway actress. It goes with the territory.
20. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.
Okay, I've never done this, but it's best to say nothing if I'm whining about myself. Usually I just need to get it out and luckily for you it means I consider you trustworthy enough to hear my insecurities about my body. Just nod along and look sympathetic. I'll get over it.
21. A man I love plans the occasional fancy-schmancy dress-up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys my favorite candy in advance when we're just going to the movies.
I love getting fancy and I love things that feel spontaneous. That said. You don't need to buy me candy in advance. I recommend it because it's cheaper that way, but I don't need candy every time we go to the movies, and if that happens to be a spontaneous thing, don't even worry about it. Also, you don't have to pay for everything. I work and have a job, I can pick up the tab for myself and even for both of us sometimes. It's not a matter of feminism. I don't want to feel indebted to a guy-this is true but a relationship should be an equal partnership. This includes money. It has to do with how I was brought up.
22. You look hot in hooded clothing items.
Unless you look like a bank robber, or other criminal.
23. You should never tell me what to do.
Sometimes this would be perfectly fine. Like if you are teaching me something or we are working on something together and it's done in a suggestive tone. Like if we are cleaning something and you are like, hey I'll do this and you do that, okay? I'm not going to mind this. If you are going to get super bossy and think you are the boss of me-that will never fly, but I expect that to not fly with you either. Relationships are give and take, push and pull.
24. If I slept over, you owe me breakfast.
To me this says, if you sleep over I owe you breakfast. Because I'm big on the reciprocating, you both give kind of thing. How about we make breakfast together. Although, if you do make breakfast for me, you will be getting brownie points and I will appreciate it. The number of points depend on the complexity of the food and how much I adore it. For example-cereal will only give you attempt at trying points. Because it's simple, everyone as it and I'm not a big fan. Add some raspberries into it and I'll give you more points. Make pancakes? A lot of points. Run out and get my favorite kind of bagel and smear? A lot of points, even though it's relatively simple. Because you remembered my favorite stuff. But if I think you are doing this in order to get some sort of sexual favor you receive negative points.
25. My breasts love much licking and sucking.
:)
26. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes.
Unless I think you are creepy.
27. I'm very impressed when you ask for my advice.
Probably.
28. I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead.
If you always take the lead I will smack you upside the head. But I want you to be able to. If you can never make a decision and never take the lead I'm not going to be able to handle it. I will think less of you, whether that is fair or not.
29. When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.
Yes? No? I don't pay that much attention to that stuff. I don't dress a lot of guys. I will tell you if you look stupid though.
30. I want to be Madonna.
I have never once thought this. Do I want to be my idols? Yes, I have wanted to be someone I idolized for a day, so the general theme of this is alright, but Madonna in particular no.
31. Women get urinary-tract infections easily, so watch (and wash) your fingers.
Some women are more prone to these than others. But I agree, that your fingers better be clean if they are going certain areas.
32. I'm in heaven when you hold my hand.
Heaven is one of those words that sounds like an absolute. I'm going to enjoy it. I'm not sure if it's going to bring out the heavenly choir.
33. You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.
If I find you sexy, you will probably be sexy doing most everything. There will be things I find more sexy. I doubt holding a baby is one of them, considering my non-desire for them.
34. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now.
I do need to hear it. But there is a fine balance between telling me enough and making me stop believing you because you say it so often you start to seem insincere. As long as you are sincere when you say it, you don't need to tell me all the time. Although if you notice I start to get quiet when we are together, chances are it's been too long since you last said it.
35. Surprises, especially gifts for moi = more loving.
I ADORE surprises. But it doesn't have to be a gift. Surprise me with a note. Surprise me by showing up unexpected. Cook me dinner. It doesn't have to be a gift. I like actions. You don't like hiking but you know I adore it and you surprise me by planning a hike and a picnic? I'm going to melt so bad like you won't believe. Better than getting me something material.
36. I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you--and for you to recognize this.
Yeah. But you want to be the best thing that happened to me too, right?
37. If I'm not feeling loved, I will start looking....
Not true. I become mopey and depressed and withdrawn. Only after some time of this will I start looking and I'll have tried to get the love from you first.
38. Discussion of ex-gf's and ex-bf's should be avoided at all times.
There are times when I can see a discussion being appropriate. I can see myself needing to discuss my ex, because you'll need to know why I have hang ups on some things. Otherwise it's not fair to you. If something has happened in the past I need to be aware of, that is appropriate. Otherwise, let's not talk too often about them.
39. I like it when you tell me what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself.
I like talking in general. About what you are thinking, feeling, the moon, the stars. I want to be able to get philosophical with you as well as ask about your day and be able to have a conversation about either.
40. Celebrating our anniversary, even if it's only been a few months, earns major bonus points.
I'm not a big month anniversary celebrator. However, if you do get me something, I will feel pretty special and I will enjoy it. But by no means is it mandatory.
41. I love it when you're sweaty.
Trufax. Unless you are sweaty because we are climbing stairs and you are hideously out of shape. If you are sweaty because you have been working out, playing sports, doing manly things like building a bridge, I will find your sweat sexy.
42. It's best to consult your gal pals for gift ideas.
I'm probably not going to make this too hard. I'm pretty obvious about what I like and therefore want. If you need ideas, I suggest asking my sister, or one of my good friends. Unless your gal pals happen to know me well. But anything that shows you put thought into it I'm going to appreciate it, even if it might not be exactly what I wanted. However, if I think you had someone else do your shopping because I can't imagine you buying the item for me, I'm probably not going to put much stock by it.
43. A lady should always be greeted with kisses.
Unless it's somewhere inappropriate like our workplaces.
44. I like porn.
Well, yes and no. I can't really see myself watching porn with someone to enjoy it or get in the mood or whatever. But I do like romantic novels that are basically erotica. It will sort of depend. If I'm comfortable with it, I'm comfortable with it. If I decide I'm not, then I'm not. I don't really see it as a couple's activity at the moment though. That doesn't mean I hate it and will shun you if you watch. After all I'm not there 24/7. As long as porn doesn't become a replacement for me. And you aren't a freaky addict.
45. I love holding your bum in the palms of my hands.
If you have a nice one.
46. Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public.
:)
47. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read...
Exactly. It doesn't have to be sex for it to be cheating.
48. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.
YES. I think it's a cowardly asshole move to stay in a relationship and cheat. If you don't want to be with me, then move on. You can't have your cake and eat it too. I'm a one man sort of girl and I want a one woman man. If we have agreed to be exclusive, we better be exclusive.
49. I remember everything about our relationship.
No I doubt. No one has that good a memory, unless they have a photographic memory and I don't. Hardly anyone deos. It's rare.
50. You should know all this and more without my telling you.
Let me roll my eyes. You aren't a mind reader. I'm not a mind reader and it takes time and experience to figure stuff like this out. There is no universal list. There is no universal anything. You need hints and blatant talk and so do I. I'm not stupid and I'm not going to expect you to know everything there is to know about women or me. And you better not assume I know everything there is to know about men or you. It takes time. Talking. Learning. Isn't that part of the fun of a relationship?
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