too responsible?

I have a habit of reading TFLN after midnight. Ok, it's even later than that. I tend to read them at about 3 in the morning when I know I should be going to sleep. Instead I'm reading texts and then I start thinking- "I'm far too responsible for my age."

While I know one text of mine has been submitted to that particular site, if it ever shows up, I'll know it was me even though I can't remember what it said now. It has nothing to do with alcohol, or getting high, and I'm sure the text was sent at a reasonable hour. I don't think it has anything to do with sex either. It was a strange text.

I read that site and sometimes I feel like I'm wasting my best years of irresponsibility. For example, today is St. Patricks day. I am not drinking right now. I am not pre-gaming anything. I will be going to work at 9pm tonight and I will work until we close and then I'll go home, shower, pop onto my computer and be up for another couple of hours before I go to bed and sleep a good portion of the morning away. And possibly the afternoon.

I feel like I'm celebrating by having some Irish wheat bread. And I'm wearing green.

I might have gone out if I didn't have to work but I didn't request it off.

But I'm feeling too responsible. I have never gotten black out drunk. There have been a few drunk moments that I'm like...hmm, maybe drinking that night wasn't the best idea, but they are pretty tame. I've never gotten high. (And every person I've told this too who does, always offers to help me out on that one, even if they are across the continent and in Canada.) I've never had a slut night- no one would put my name and slut into the same sentence.

II need to have a few moments. While I can still claim the irresponsibility of youth. It makes me wish more and more that I had been able to afford Mexico.