splitting headache

I hate headaches. I hate them. I hate when they can't get rid of it. And I find it ridiculous that I have two kittens sleeping on me and my head is throbbing.

I hate tension headaches and they should go away when I tell them too.

dear self

Please spend less time doing nothing and wasting time and more time getting stuff done. Like cleaning your apartment. And doing laundry. And ironing clothes. And those goals for the month. So many of them still need doing.

Playing with kittens all day long, while enjoyable, and they are so cute when they fall asleep on you, is not acceptable.

intimidation

I don't think of myself as intimidating.

I'm not particularly tall. I don't weigh a whole heck of a lot and while I pack a bigger punch than one might think, physical appearance wise, I am not intimidating. No one is going to go running when I come into the room.

I feel blessed because I am physically pretty strong (I do ten push ups daily.) I was serious when I read the job description at my job, saw that one needed to be able to lift fifty pounds, and knew that wouldn't be a problem. I can lift seed bags. When the water bottles are stacked above my head I can still get them because I am strong enough. A half filled ice bucket is easy for me to get into the ice bins. Some of the boys keep trying to grab this stuff away from me and do it themselves. But I carry my own weight.

But looking at me, I don't look like any great superwoman. I don't look like I can do these things.

I guess I've got a fair amount of inner strength as well, I've heard it said from more than a few people, so I'll accept it as fact.

I finally got the intimidation thing today. It's not about looks. It's about the fact that I'm self assured. I have an identity. I have figured out who I am, what I believe. When I disagree with someone, I usually do it from a firm viewpoint. That's not to say I won't listen to the other person at all, I feel I have a fairly open mind, but I have no problem stating my opinion because you might not like me if I don't agree with you. I don't have to agree with you. It seems that there is something inside me that says-this is me, these are my opinions, I am not concerned about how you will view this.

I think recently this had made me more of a straight shooter. It's not that I'm not concerned about other people's feelings, but the idea of dancing around an issue to make sure no one gets hurt frustrates me. I'll let you know exactly how I feel and whether I think you are right, wrong, out of line, etc etc. I never really thought about whether this might come off harsh. Or intimidating. I guess it could. But I can't say I want to go about "improving" this habit of mine and dialing down my personality. I'm not an unkind person, I'm not lacking tact. And I feel like I would be burying myself if I try to go back to beating around the bush. Some situations obviously need finesse. i didn't quit my job by telling my manager I thought she was being unreasonable in her demands and that I didn't think she was a very good manager. I told her that I didn't think the opportunities at the company were fitting into my life. That there was no way for me to progress in this position and so it was no longer the best fit for me. It was all true, without being an attack.

But I guess if I'm already an intimidating person because of my self awareness, then when I do get pointed and direct and probably a bit bitchy, it's uncomfortable for the other person.

I'm okay with this. I would rather have people strive for self awareness than people molly cuddling.

This post is going to seem selfish and possibly a bit bitchy and I am okay with that.

dear hot man

To: The blue eyed, dark haired beautiful specimen of manhood.

Please come back to the theatre. Please stand in my line again. You are so much eye candy.

That is all, unless you'd like to date. Then, this isn't all. Or, maybe less than dating. I'm not picky.

Thanks.

-Me

schedules

I need to teach myself that when my alarm clock goes off, even if I don't have anywhere to be, I need to get out of bed.

I set my alarm clock for 9am.

I don't remember waking up at 9.

I woke up at noon when someone texted me.

After about half an hour of texting with a few people I went back to sleep.

I got up at 3.

SERIOUSLY?! I need help. I didn't need that much sleep. And now it's after midnight and I'm not tired again.


woadishjofijoiajs «-- THAT.

5k

I di my first 5k since September today. On an hour and a half of sleep. I did better than I thought I would, but not as well as I would ultimately have liked to have done. And I felt so out of shape doing it. I really need to sign up for races though in order to keep my training in. Otherwise I get complacent and think-oh I can do it tomorrow.

more kittens-because they are cute blogging fodder

Cuteness of the day.

Right now, the kittens, after exhausting themselves out playing with each other, have climbed up into the corner to fall asleep. I am sitting against a pile of pillows on the couch. The kittens are sitting on top of the pillows, right above my shoulder. There isn't a lot of space, but it fits two six week old kittens perfectly, provided one of them puts a head and a paw on my shoulder. If it wouldn't disturb them to grab a camera I would be snapping pictures left and right.

I'm always sad when I have to put them in the bathroom for the evening (and I've only had them a couple of nights. I'm attached. Hopefully, in a few days I can get my room clean and they can sleep on the bed with me. Unless they want to sleep in the bathroom box. It's been so long since I got to fall asleep with kittens by me. I would love to experience that again.

I am a little worried about being attached to them, but at the same time I think it's good that I can show them love as well as a home. I know that this is temporary. Eventually they will find their forever home. And it can't be with me because I can't afford it. As much as I want them. Both of them, because I don't think I would be able to split up litter mates. Besides Skimble and Munkustrap are meant to be together. I'd really love it if someone wanted to adopt the pair of them together, although it's pretty unlikely.

Oo, they woke up for some more playtime. Because of how small they are they can easily play on the couch while I'm laying on it, no problem. So cute. SO CUTE.

kitten update

So the other foster mom decided to take three, even though I wanted three, and since she used the "my kids will get too attached to them" line I let it go, since I'm pretty sure she requested foster before me. I'd have said I'd foster them ALL. I felt so bad splitting up litter mates. They are still so young. They want their brothers and sisters around all the time. So she took Bomballerina, Rum Tum Tugger and Rumpleteaser. I was so sad to lose Rum Tum Tugger though. Because he was pretty little and the two girls will beat up on him and steal all his food. I thought it made the most sense to put the two big ones who were playmates together and keep the shyer younger ones together.

I was left with Skimbleshanks (who is very needy) and Mungojerrie. Without a Rumpleteaser I felt it was cruel for him to do the cat burgling of two and rechristened him Munkustrap. Skimble is the littlest one and Munkustrap is only slightly bigger. They are both pretty damn small. The runts of the litter for sure.

They do very little, eat, play a little and sleep mostly. They prefer sleeping up next to me. I've been adopted as a kitten mother for sure. They are like...mommy! My favorite person!

Super adorable I tell you. But judge for yourself.
Munkustrap playing, All five in a kitten pile, and then Skimbleshanks.

Welcome Kittens!

My kittens have finally arrived and I'm officially a foster mom for kittens. I have five at the moment. Two of them will go to another foster tomorrow. But for now I have five 6-week olds running about. Currently they refuse to go into their box for bedtime and are instead happily sitting on the couch with me and attacking each other and my leg.

There are four solid black (or dark brown) ones and one tabby kitten. Three of them are males as far as I can tell with two females. As they didn't have names, I named them as follows:

Mungojerrie
Rumpleteaser
Rum Tum Tugger
Bomballerina
Skimbleshanks

Skimble is the littlest and I think he's the runt of the litter. He was crying all over this evening and now I have him cuddled in a pile of pillows. I tried to get them all to sleep in a box but so far no luck. I'm hoping I don't have to stay up all night or sleep out here in order to get them to sleep. I may end up sleeping on the couch. I got up for a second and four pairs of eyes opened and looked at me like "mommy? Where are you going?" I have been adopted.

It's sad to think that on my birthday they will be two months and eligible for adoption. I love them already. But do not fear. I will not be adopting five kittens. I knew I'd be giving them up when I got into this.

I'll post some pictures of the adorable tomorrow. They are SO cute.

a weekend!

I have TWO DAYS off. IN A ROW. And while it might be a thursday and a friday, I'm considering this a weekend. That means from right now, until Saturday at 6pm I have no work to do. I need to finish the spring cleaning on my apartment but no where to be, my own pace. I haven't had two back to back days in so long.

I'm ecstatic.

too responsible?

I have a habit of reading TFLN after midnight. Ok, it's even later than that. I tend to read them at about 3 in the morning when I know I should be going to sleep. Instead I'm reading texts and then I start thinking- "I'm far too responsible for my age."

While I know one text of mine has been submitted to that particular site, if it ever shows up, I'll know it was me even though I can't remember what it said now. It has nothing to do with alcohol, or getting high, and I'm sure the text was sent at a reasonable hour. I don't think it has anything to do with sex either. It was a strange text.

I read that site and sometimes I feel like I'm wasting my best years of irresponsibility. For example, today is St. Patricks day. I am not drinking right now. I am not pre-gaming anything. I will be going to work at 9pm tonight and I will work until we close and then I'll go home, shower, pop onto my computer and be up for another couple of hours before I go to bed and sleep a good portion of the morning away. And possibly the afternoon.

I feel like I'm celebrating by having some Irish wheat bread. And I'm wearing green.

I might have gone out if I didn't have to work but I didn't request it off.

But I'm feeling too responsible. I have never gotten black out drunk. There have been a few drunk moments that I'm like...hmm, maybe drinking that night wasn't the best idea, but they are pretty tame. I've never gotten high. (And every person I've told this too who does, always offers to help me out on that one, even if they are across the continent and in Canada.) I've never had a slut night- no one would put my name and slut into the same sentence.

II need to have a few moments. While I can still claim the irresponsibility of youth. It makes me wish more and more that I had been able to afford Mexico.

Minute Four of St. Patrick's Day.

I should be drinking or something. I'm Irish. Some part of me is at least.

But that is not what this blog is about. I was thinking about something fascinating to blog about and was looking on Yahoo for something to respond to maybe when I saw the creepy clover.

Do this right now: Go to Yahoo. Where it says Yahoo, look for the rainbow. AND THEN BAM!

DO YOU SEE THAT FREAKY GREEN DANCING THING? OMG WHAT IS IT?

IT'S DANCING AT ME. IT'S FLAPPING IT'S GIANT ARMS. IT WANTS A HUG? HELL NO!

I'm sure it's contagious.

I don't know who over at Yahoo thought this was a genius decoration for St. Patricks day, but it's creepy and it's creeping me out. In fact, I might NEED alcohol in order to get through this. Sadly I have nothing Irish.....wait, scratch that, I've got Baileys Irish Cream. I'm covered. I can put the thought of this...whatever it is, out of my mind.

Dear Yahoo,
You will never win the Google v. Yahoo wars if you insist on associating yourself with something that weird. Look at Google, Celtic writing in green. Classy. Simple. Not creepy.

I feel a need to stare at the clover (because I'm sure it's supposed to be a clover dresses for st. patrick's day. Shouldn't it be a four leaf clover? Since those are lucky?

It's still staring at me.




(Wear Green Today, because if you aren't and you run into me- I'm pinching. Unless you are wearing orange, as that is also acceptable.)

sexually mysterious

I have determined that I am the type of girl that people come to conclusions about. And by conclusions, I mean assumptions.

While I am a generally friendly person, for a while, while I'm getting to know people I am certainly reserved. i'm more outgoing later. I am incredibly quirky. If I was going to describe myself in one work it would be that: quirky.

In order to establish this point, in case you don't believe me I'm going to list a few quotes that I have kept over the past few years. Actually, keeping a list of quotes that I refer to and again laugh at might perfectly well demonstrate the point but that would ruin the fun of posting funny quotes that you weren't there to experience but hopefully you will enjoy anyhow. Out of context is always much fun.

(to the tune of jingle bells (and you better sing it to yourself to get the full efect)) Narf Narf Narf. Narf Narf Narf. Narf Narf Narf Narf Narf. Legendary. Legendary. Legendary Narf.

I sent that as a text message.

Okay, that's enough examples. I'll scatter the rest to you later.

Anyhow, apparently I confuse people. They make assumptions. Something. I don't know. I'm not other people and therefore I don't know their minds.

In high school, sometimes in drama class we had nothing to do and so we'd lay around on the floor and talk about nothing. This may have been when we were pretending to research stuff for a project that never got done. Because drama was kind of not an informative period. Unless we wanted to discover how sexually interesting the rest of us were. One of the guys in the class (who was kind of a creeper, admittedly) was trying to "figure out" people sexually. And he was naming them off, like you've done this and you are probably interested in this.

He was doing this and then he got to me and was like, and you are interesting. And I was like Oh-hmm? He decided that I was a highly sexual being but he was fairly sure at that point I was still a virgin and couldn't figure out at all how far I'd gone. Despite the fact he knew I had a serious boyfriend. He was conflicted on the signs I was giving or something. I can't say I really knew what it all meant at the time and I was all...oh...hmmm. I refused to answer any of his questions on the matter as it wasn't any of his business and he was a creeper and goodness knows what he'd do with that information.

Half smile and a shake of the head that says that no, I won't tell you that. This is my motto.

In college, I was walking with a guy, who I was friends with so I'd gotten past the reserved stages a bit with him, although the fact that I totally had major crush time on him hindered it a bit and we'd already slept together by this part (half smile-shake head) and he was talking about going home and laying around naked.

I was like, oh-hmmm. And he was like...you'll totally be going home and doing the same thing. To which I replied, half-smile, snake head. (And was secretly pleased he'd said something about it like that because if he was talking about me naked he was probably thinking about it and that meant he liked me right? If he ever comes across this blog I'm going to die of embarrassment most likely. I digress.) But I didn't answer the question. Well, maybe a little gasp of what? half laugh. Which fits with my half smile-shake head motto.

Anything that fits with that motto is acceptable.

The other day at work. Another guy said something about going home and laying around naked and was like, but you won't be doing that will you. You don't seem like the sort. Part of me was like, what? You think I'm uptight? But the I remembered the fact that he sees me at work and I believe in a reserved manner at work (or at least to a point). I half smiled, shook my head and told him he didn't know that. To which he repeated I wasn't the type and you could tell these things.

Obviously not.

It's kind of fun thinking I'm an enigma.

Enigma is kinda fun to say.

I'm sure by now you have all sorts of burning questions. Does she run around her apartment naked? Does she sleep naked? Or is she a reverse nudist and even showers fully dressed?

To your questions I have an answer.

Half smile-shake head.

now everyone can rate everything

So I recently read a book about how companies have to be extra careful about consumers these days. They have to be truthful and put forth the best product at the best price always because of how the internet is these days. Any consumer who is unhappy with a product is more likely to tell people then someone who had a good time. You expect all products to work and be useful and therefore, you are less likely to say good things about someone then if you have a bad experience. If you have a bad experience then you feel more obligated to warn others, to let other people know what is going on with this company.

In some cases I agree with this, for products that are tangible, sure. If I'm looking to buy a car, I want to be able to see what people who actually have driven a car have said. Although, I'm EXTREMELY brand loyal when I find a company/brand I like. So I'm less likely than most people to do this. I'm more likely to go to the dealer, tell them what features I want and buy a car. In fact, when I got my latest car-even though it wasn't my purchase (my parents were fronting the cost and choosing the car because of it), when the choice was between a Honda Civic and a Toyota Camry, while I like both companies, all the cars I've driven have been Hondas. I like Hondas. And I asked for the Honda. Knowing nothing about the two cars and their options. (I also had very min requirements. I wanted automatic, anti lock brakes, air conditioning, good gas milage, automatic windows, and doors that I didn't have to manually lock.) I'm the same way for other things. I'm an Apple girl through and through. I like HP printers. I'm a big believer in Cuisinart and KitchenAid. I was looking for an iron the other day and I had a choice between I brand I knew of (Black and Decker) and a brand I had never heard of. I chose to not buy an iron because the Black and Decker was out and I preferred making another trip in order to get the brand I've heard of and already trust.

All of these things are tangible products. There are easy ways to measure how they function and the value of the product. It's easy to compare the brands of the same product together because we all expect the same things out of them. We don't expect our car to vacuum. It's easy to compare a car to a car because they do the same thing. A vacuum is easily comparable to a vacuum. I expect the same thing out of my dishwasher mostly that you do.

When it comes to human services, it can get a lot harder to compare these things because things start getting a little more subjective. I'm a big fan of yelp, but I'm not always interested in the same type of food other people are. In and Out gets good reviews, but I'm a bit of a food snob and I don't consider it any great eats. But luckily most people on Yelp tend to explain their reviews well.

I'm not a member of Angie's list, but I kinda like the idea. If someone goes above and beyond the call of duty it's great to be able to hear about it. Consequently if someone ends up charging a lot of money for something that needs to be repaired right away again because the contractor made a bad repair, I'm fine with someone saying something-provided it's respectful. I don't like it when people start saying defaming things or swearing in reviews. On yelp either. Restaurants have bad days too. Service is subjective. And I don't know how obnoxious your party was to a server. I'd like to think that people who write reviews didn't do anything to get bad service (not that anyone really should get bad service, but as a member of the customer service industry and as a member of the sales industry, I know that if you are rude to me, I make no effort for you, because I deserve to be treated with respect, even if I'm serving you.). I don't know that they don't. I don't know all the details of the encounter.

I was reading about these medical gag things today. And I was quite torn. On one hand, a patient should be able to talk about their doctor and the good and bads. But at the same time, unlike most of the other things being reviewed, doctors literally cannot respond to a bad review. Anyone else can respond in some way to defend themselves and explain the situation to make themselves appear more favorable so a reader can get both sides of the story (they might not, but they COULD). Because of doctor/patient confidentiality, a doctor couldn't. And maybe it's because my mother is a doctor, but I really don't like this idea of rating doctors. Good health care is more subjective then someone realizes. And I don't think I could trust online reviews to help me chose a doctor.

I got super lucky when it came to my health care plan anyhow. I'm still covered by my parents insurance for at least another year, even though I'm no longer in school. Dental too. And if I wasn't, I know they wouldn't let me go uncovered. Plus, since my mother is a Kaiser doctor, I'm a member of Kaiser, which I think is the best thing to be a part of (brand loyalty again, although I've seen/heard about other insurance through my mother and find everything else to be way too complicated and not focused on preventative health care which doesn't make sense.) Kaiser is non-profit and their doctors aren't paid on commission or anything which I think is the smartest way to do health care, but that's neither here no there and this isn't a health care post. I got doctors who were not currently accepting patients because I had inside information. Not everyone has that.

Choosing a doctor can be hard, but I don't think online reviews are the best way to go about it. The only way to get the best health care professionals for yourself is to figure out what you need in a doctor and go and see some. You don't even need to have an appt. to figure it out. A short meeting would probably suffice. I can't say I care too much about the bedside manner of my doctor provided they do a great job. I want a capable well educated and certified doctor. Kind bedside manner isn't all that important to me. I don't want them to be too blunt and harsh, but I don't need it sugar coated. Some people want that. So if someone is complaining about bedside manner, I can't really judge for myself from that.

Mostly I'm worried how this could hurt doctors. Part of the reason I believe health care is so fucked up in this country is because doctors have to worry about malpractice so often. For many surgeons it seems the rule of thumb is not "if" you are sued, but "when." No wonder prices are extravagant. No wonder the heath care is so topsy turvy. Patients don't seem to take enough interest in their own health, and to me, don't seem all that educated about medicine. Some are, but I would say the majority of people I talk to know nothing about health, nothing about medicine. And that's not just people my own age. How many reviews would come about someone not being well informed to begin with and then when finding out the truth is retaliating?

It just seems like such a can of worms. Yes, if doctor is really bad people should know about it, but isn't there a way to do it without jeopardizing reputations. I investigated and it seems like a lot of places don't require you to register or anything. Anonymous reviews? SUCH A BAD IDEA. It could be anyone.

I like the idea of consumers keeping products and companies honest by use of the internet. But how do we deal with the grey areas if the party has no way to defend themselves. Surely there is a better solution to this?

daylight savings.

I'm so excited about getting more sunshine during the hours I'm awake. I adore my sunshine so much. Sunshine is my favorite. Spring and Summer make me so happy and I run more and I swim more and I spend more time outside. Who needs winter at all?

I feel like I haven't blogged about anything worthwhile. I need to find time to blog that isn't after I come home from work. I'm too tired to think up anything I really want to talk about and end up reiterating my day.

no kittens yet

So I called them and those kittens had to go to the vet and so I couldn't foster them. The woman said there would be more kittens the next day but there haven't been and so no kittens for me. I'm keeping an eye open on my email and hopefully I will get an email that says- kittens available for fostering and I can call them and get the kittens and have furry cuteness running about my apartment.

I also quit my job. My last day is tomorrow. It was a little surreal. All my co-workers have been disappointed and sad to hear I'm leaving, but manager girl was like, oh okay see you, then. It was a little weird. I almost half expect something written on my clock in thing, some kind of message that says I can't do it or something and I'll have to invoke the labor code and mention how we are at will employment. I know it's kind of shitty to give such short notice, but she's been kind of shitty to me (and apparently to the other girl hired at the same time as me) and when I get paid more somewhere else and have been told I can get more hours there is no sense in my sticking around and being stressed and crossing into another pay period. I don't feel bad about it at all. I have to do what's best for me don't I? If I'm not happy and I used to be happy it doesn't make sense for me to stick around and to continue being stressed and miserable for minimum wage when I don't have to be.

I'm not worried about it being a problem if I decide to hunt for a second job, although I think I'm going to take some time and audition for things. I figure that "no opportunities for promotion or advancement" is a reasonable excuse for leaving a job especially when combined with better opportunities and better pay at the other job I was working at the time. Should manager girl try to say bad things about me, the fact that it should be in direct conflict with everyone else a potential employer should be able to see that the manager had a problem with me that didn't accurately reflect my work ability and ethic. I would have no problem explaining that either, I don't think.

I have a mandatory meeting at the theatre tomorrow morning. 9am. I think it should be illegal to make me close, therefore work until almost 2:30 and then be at a meeting at 9am. There is no way for me to get a full night's sleep then! I will live. Perhaps I will take a nap. Plus it will be a good way to get me to go to the farmer's market which I want to do. So hopefully I will. I'm supposed to be giving someone a ride which should make me get up. I'm still a little worried though. I have a terrible habit of sleeping through alarms. But my sleeping schedule is honestly all backwards and topsy turvy.

I think I have decided the books I want to read for my goal of reading three books for pleasure. They aren't going to be books that I haven't read. They are books I read a long time ago. I'm going to re-read both Alilce in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass because of the movie. The movie did remind me of the books but it's been years since I read them. I'd love to go back to reading some of my childhood books. Then I'm also going to re-read The Diary of Anne Frank something I read when I was about nine. I think I'd get more out of it now.

KITTENS!

I'm going to be fostering kittens. I pick them up tomorrow. Or well, later today since it's 5am and I haven't gone to bed yet. I'm so excited. Cute cute cute.

Oh, and to top it off, I'm so quitting the florist tomorrow and my last day will be Saturday. Two weeks notice? HAHAHAHA. Forget it. It should be easier for them this way though. I'll be done before the pay period ends. But it's kinda fun working and knowing I'm totally done there. I have to go in to formally quit since the manager shoved a customer on me and booked it this afternoon when I was planning to quit. But goodbye crazy manager. Goodbye florist. Sad to be leaving my co-workers though. They seem to really like working with me and I like working with them. But I can't deallll with the crazy. Too much stress, not enough pay, not any chance for promotion.

No more stress and adorable kittens. Tomorrow should be a way awesome day.

feeling lax

I should write about something awesome and meaningful but I'm so tired that all I can seem to think of is just how tired I am and how my day went. I want my blog to be more interesting than that. Maybe tomorrow.

slackers

I hate them.

There are always slackers at work and they think they are much better workers then they are.

I know everyone slacks from time to time. There will be a day when you are like....can't deal with people, and avoid register at all costs. Or when you feel so overwhelmed and stressed that you call in sick, and take a personal day, knowing that you'll be a better worker the next day for it. I understand these things. It happens to everyone from time to time.

However, when it's a constant pattern...

YOU. ARE. A. SLACKER.

And no one likes a habitual slacker.

I had a dream last night that we had four closers at the theatre. Me and A, B and C. I'm not going to use their names to protect their identities. :) Me and A are good workers. I love closing with her. She is enjoyable to be around and she does her work. B and C are slackers and in this particular dream, they both called out sick. B has a habit of doing that and this past weekend C has missed two days out of three being "injured" although when your co-workers are in the same social circle as you and you aren't injured...we know what you are doing. We had a 1:20 am showing of Alice in my dream and me and A were there closing the stand until we opened the next morning. Now, I realize the dream is pretty unrealistic. Our scheduling manager wouldn't only schedule four of us on a day that had such a late night showing. We'd have six. Also, there isn't any reason for us to have a 1:20 showing on a Sunday. School nights we don't tend to have showings that late except for Thursdays-the midnight showings of the stuff opening Friday. And if we got cut down to two closers, the managers would probably step in and help or make 4-12's stay late and get overtime in order to get us out of there before we opened. There is no way we would be allowed to stay that late. It would be like 5 hours of overtime. They'd just send us home.

Anyway, so by the time I go on break B, who is actually working today HAS gone home, claiming she didn't feel well. But, since she always "doesn't feel well" when she has to mop, all of us think differently. It can't just be a coincidence. Our shift lead then says he's going to assign her mopping every time now, because he doesn't like it that she keeps going home sticking the job on other people. He said, either she'll suck it up or if she keeps going home to avoid it-she'll make no money and the managers will catch on. Although judging by the managers talking-they've already caught on and are unimpressed. Mopping isn't even that bad. It makes you stick around for like 15 more minutes? Which is 15 more minutes you get paid. i don't mind. I don't want to do it every time because the mop is heavy but it's not the end of the world. But I seriously can't remember the last time B mopped and we all have noticed. And are subsequently unimpressed.

C was also working and he stuck around the whole time even if he did take a super long ten minute break in the middle of closing (I hate people who do this unless they have a legit reason like they need to call their ride but most people are just being assholes.). He sucks though and was doing everything fucking horribly and I was like SERIOUSLY? He swept behind all the poppers but didn't butler it up so it was all over the floor, waiting to get swept back behind the poppers and he started drains without sweeping and tried to do them without taking the drain covers off and sweeping behind there and I was like -.-
It shouldn't be too hard for me to advance when I'm working with people like this who are idiots.

We had three 4-12's and only one of them stuck around. Our shift lead stuck around until midnight. He rocks. One of the other ones had done a couple of poppers and closed the side stands and was the last person on register so we could do stuff, but the other girl, is the new girl I don't like and she didn't do like ANYTHING after closing side stands. She wiped off a few counters but they weren't clean at all and I had to re-do them later and then she left a half hour early because she had to be there at nine am the next morning. LAME. I've closed and then opened before. It's not that difficult. You'd tired but it's doable. She wasn't even closing. She was getting off at midnight and she couldn't stick around for half an hour? She dawdled around for like an hour doing nothing useful and then left? Unimpressed man. I name you slacker. For the record the other one who left early is usually pretty decent to close with.

A had to leave early because she was never sent on her forty, but I didn't mind because she was busting her ass to help us get as much as she could help us get done before she had to leave at one in order to not get break violation. Another girl had to leave when her ride got there but she ended up sticking around. I felt like a shift leader though, because the other girl-I don't think she is a natural leader and the guy is pretty much a lemming in my book. It was kinda awesome. The funny thing is that B wants to BE a shift lead. No way in hell if she keeps leaving like that. Managers like team players. I'm pretty sure the managers are catching on to her ways. Maybe she'll get demoted to floor and get fired like the other girl who was a slacker-even if she amused me and I liked her.

I don't understand slackers though. I know we don't get paid a whole lot, but we have opportunities for raises every three months. Shouldn't that make it worthwhile to do a half decent job?

too tired to be able to think up anything

That's what happen when you work way too late. Didn't get home until after four.

What Women Want From Men?

I love these lists things. I don't know who comes up with these list things, but I throughly enjoyed responding to the florist one and I believe I'll throughly enjoy responding to .

First off, there is no universal list every guy should know about women. Because we are all different. Like each guy is different. It's impossible to create a universal list. Not to mention it's not going to be the same for every culture.

I'm probably someone who it could be typically aimed at and it still isn't universal to me.

1. Saying "I love you" immediately before, during, or following sex doesn't count.

I'll take it. I won't think you mean it, because sex is influencing you, but it's still nice to hear. When does a compliment/nice words ever get old? Unless you are creepy and stalking me.

2. Real men drive stick shift.

I could LITERALLY care less about how and what you drive. I'm not a car girl. Do I like the look of a Lamborghini? Yes, but you could drive a van and I won't care. I'm not really expecting to date a Lamborghini guy. I'm looking for personality. And I think the type of personality I'm attracted too won't be driving an Italian sports car. I'm not going to think you are any less of a man if you drive automatic. I'll probably think you are sensible. Stick is a pain. Although if you do drive it, I'm making you teach me.

3. I will leave if you lie.

It will depend on the lie. If you cheat and say you didn't and I lated find out you did you are fucked. I'm gone. If it's like, do you want to go see -insert movie- here and you don't want to go but you know I'll love it and you wouldn't mind (as in you recognize it won't kill you) going, and later I find out you didn't really want to go, I'm not going to mind. Because you are doing a nice thing for me. It depends on the lie and why.

4. You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts).

I'm a sucker for baseball players so for me, yes.

5. I'm convinced I'm pregnant and obsess about it for a minimum of 24 to 48 hours before my period, even when I have no rational reason to think so.

Not if there is no rational reason to think so. I'm only convinced I'm pregnant if I've dreamed it for the last week and there is an actual chance I could be pregnant. But otherwise, I don't think I'm pregnant. Why would I want to stress myself out that way?

6. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear.

Most of the time. If it's a complete and total surprise because I don't think you are in the same area as me I'll probably scream. I scream when I'm startled. Don't startle me, I'll take out your eardrums and that is never sexy. But the move in general is lovely.

7. "Fine" is never an appropriate response when I ask you how I look.

Yes it is. For a T-shirt and jeans, it better be. While I like hearing I'm pretty and beautiful, if you tell me that all the time I feel like it loses it's meaning. I might be beautiful in a t-shirt and jeans but fine will work, well, fine. I'm not going to coo over you ever single day, you shouldn't have to for me.

8. Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you.

Totally true.

9. I'm terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her.

Mostly just certain habits of hers. I'm terrified of becoming a hoarder and having a massive amount of newspapers barricade me in my house. That's the big one. I'm not really all that concerned about becoming my mother. I don't think it will happen most of the time because there are big differences between us. But I am a bit of a packrat and she is worse and I fear being featured on AMC's Hoarders.

10. I get turned on simply seeing that I have an e-mail from you.

Not if we are fighting.

11. I expect you to call me

Yes. I do. I cannot make all the communication efforts. Surefire way to have me headed out the door. Call sometimes. I know you know how a telephone works.

12. Only rock stars are allowed to wear leather pants.

No one. Is allowed. To wear. Leather Pants. Who invented this idiotic idea? I don't want to see them on anyone. I don't want to wear them. I imagine they are hideously uncomfortable. Sticking to your thighs. I don't even like leather couches.

13. I'm scared of losing my independence.

I most certainly am. But I've lost it before so I have good reason. If I hadn't, I probably wouldn't even consider the possibility.

14. I'm more forgiving of you than I really should be.

Probably.

15. Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. Manolo Blahnik shoes also do the trick.

Not for me. I have an aversion of the worst sort to oral. And I'd probably think you'd done something even worse if you bought me $500 shoes. And I LIKE shoes. Not all women are shoe women. We are not all Carrie Bradshaw from Sex in the City. Some of us (including myself) never got into SITC or like Carrie Bradshaw. Making me dinner would be a better solution. Unless you can't cook although I'll probably still enjoy the effort. Unless you fuck up my expensive kitchen equipment.

16. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not. (See directly above.)

I try to be generally easy to read. If I'm unhappy, it's pretty obvious. I'm not going to make you guess a thousand times over. I think that's so dumb when a girl/woman is like... I'm angry with my boyfriend, let's see if he can figure it out. I'm going to tell you. And I'm not going to seem cool about it unless I'm actually cool with it. I can't tolerate this sort of stupidity.

17. If I'm not having sex with you, I'm... a.) ...having a fat day. b.) ...not feeling "connected" to you. c.) ...blackmailing you to get something I want.

Yes, I don't want sex when I'm feeling fat. And I don't want sex when I'm feeling grumpy and not in the mood. I don't know what this not feeling connected shit is. Probably some sort of lame ass excuse. And while I have used sex as blackmail, I doubt I'll do it again. I don't see how this does anything other than drive a wedge into a relationship. Honestly. Let's not make a situation worse. I won't have sex if I'm angry at you and you seem adverse to listening to me. If you upset me, you won't be getting any. That would be way too much emotion running through me to handle at one time.

18. Shoes determine whether you're fashionable or not.

No.

19. I own a Debbie Gibson CD, and I'm not afraid to use it.

Who?
Although, you will be forced to listen to musicals if you date me. I'm a musical aficionado. I want to be a Broadway actress. It goes with the territory.

20. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.

Okay, I've never done this, but it's best to say nothing if I'm whining about myself. Usually I just need to get it out and luckily for you it means I consider you trustworthy enough to hear my insecurities about my body. Just nod along and look sympathetic. I'll get over it.

21. A man I love plans the occasional fancy-schmancy dress-up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys my favorite candy in advance when we're just going to the movies.

I love getting fancy and I love things that feel spontaneous. That said. You don't need to buy me candy in advance. I recommend it because it's cheaper that way, but I don't need candy every time we go to the movies, and if that happens to be a spontaneous thing, don't even worry about it. Also, you don't have to pay for everything. I work and have a job, I can pick up the tab for myself and even for both of us sometimes. It's not a matter of feminism. I don't want to feel indebted to a guy-this is true but a relationship should be an equal partnership. This includes money. It has to do with how I was brought up.

22. You look hot in hooded clothing items.

Unless you look like a bank robber, or other criminal.

23. You should never tell me what to do.

Sometimes this would be perfectly fine. Like if you are teaching me something or we are working on something together and it's done in a suggestive tone. Like if we are cleaning something and you are like, hey I'll do this and you do that, okay? I'm not going to mind this. If you are going to get super bossy and think you are the boss of me-that will never fly, but I expect that to not fly with you either. Relationships are give and take, push and pull.

24. If I slept over, you owe me breakfast.

To me this says, if you sleep over I owe you breakfast. Because I'm big on the reciprocating, you both give kind of thing. How about we make breakfast together. Although, if you do make breakfast for me, you will be getting brownie points and I will appreciate it. The number of points depend on the complexity of the food and how much I adore it. For example-cereal will only give you attempt at trying points. Because it's simple, everyone as it and I'm not a big fan. Add some raspberries into it and I'll give you more points. Make pancakes? A lot of points. Run out and get my favorite kind of bagel and smear? A lot of points, even though it's relatively simple. Because you remembered my favorite stuff. But if I think you are doing this in order to get some sort of sexual favor you receive negative points.

25. My breasts love much licking and sucking.

:)

26. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes.

Unless I think you are creepy.

27. I'm very impressed when you ask for my advice.

Probably.

28. I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead.

If you always take the lead I will smack you upside the head. But I want you to be able to. If you can never make a decision and never take the lead I'm not going to be able to handle it. I will think less of you, whether that is fair or not.

29. When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.

Yes? No? I don't pay that much attention to that stuff. I don't dress a lot of guys. I will tell you if you look stupid though.

30. I want to be Madonna.

I have never once thought this. Do I want to be my idols? Yes, I have wanted to be someone I idolized for a day, so the general theme of this is alright, but Madonna in particular no.

31. Women get urinary-tract infections easily, so watch (and wash) your fingers.

Some women are more prone to these than others. But I agree, that your fingers better be clean if they are going certain areas.

32. I'm in heaven when you hold my hand.

Heaven is one of those words that sounds like an absolute. I'm going to enjoy it. I'm not sure if it's going to bring out the heavenly choir.

33. You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.

If I find you sexy, you will probably be sexy doing most everything. There will be things I find more sexy. I doubt holding a baby is one of them, considering my non-desire for them.

34. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now.

I do need to hear it. But there is a fine balance between telling me enough and making me stop believing you because you say it so often you start to seem insincere. As long as you are sincere when you say it, you don't need to tell me all the time. Although if you notice I start to get quiet when we are together, chances are it's been too long since you last said it.

35. Surprises, especially gifts for moi = more loving.

I ADORE surprises. But it doesn't have to be a gift. Surprise me with a note. Surprise me by showing up unexpected. Cook me dinner. It doesn't have to be a gift. I like actions. You don't like hiking but you know I adore it and you surprise me by planning a hike and a picnic? I'm going to melt so bad like you won't believe. Better than getting me something material.

36. I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you--and for you to recognize this.

Yeah. But you want to be the best thing that happened to me too, right?

37. If I'm not feeling loved, I will start looking....

Not true. I become mopey and depressed and withdrawn. Only after some time of this will I start looking and I'll have tried to get the love from you first.

38. Discussion of ex-gf's and ex-bf's should be avoided at all times.

There are times when I can see a discussion being appropriate. I can see myself needing to discuss my ex, because you'll need to know why I have hang ups on some things. Otherwise it's not fair to you. If something has happened in the past I need to be aware of, that is appropriate. Otherwise, let's not talk too often about them.

39. I like it when you tell me what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself.

I like talking in general. About what you are thinking, feeling, the moon, the stars. I want to be able to get philosophical with you as well as ask about your day and be able to have a conversation about either.

40. Celebrating our anniversary, even if it's only been a few months, earns major bonus points.

I'm not a big month anniversary celebrator. However, if you do get me something, I will feel pretty special and I will enjoy it. But by no means is it mandatory.

41. I love it when you're sweaty.

Trufax. Unless you are sweaty because we are climbing stairs and you are hideously out of shape. If you are sweaty because you have been working out, playing sports, doing manly things like building a bridge, I will find your sweat sexy.


42. It's best to consult your gal pals for gift ideas.

I'm probably not going to make this too hard. I'm pretty obvious about what I like and therefore want. If you need ideas, I suggest asking my sister, or one of my good friends. Unless your gal pals happen to know me well. But anything that shows you put thought into it I'm going to appreciate it, even if it might not be exactly what I wanted. However, if I think you had someone else do your shopping because I can't imagine you buying the item for me, I'm probably not going to put much stock by it.

43. A lady should always be greeted with kisses.

Unless it's somewhere inappropriate like our workplaces.

44. I like porn.

Well, yes and no. I can't really see myself watching porn with someone to enjoy it or get in the mood or whatever. But I do like romantic novels that are basically erotica. It will sort of depend. If I'm comfortable with it, I'm comfortable with it. If I decide I'm not, then I'm not. I don't really see it as a couple's activity at the moment though. That doesn't mean I hate it and will shun you if you watch. After all I'm not there 24/7. As long as porn doesn't become a replacement for me. And you aren't a freaky addict.

45. I love holding your bum in the palms of my hands.

If you have a nice one.

46. Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public.

:)

47. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read...

Exactly. It doesn't have to be sex for it to be cheating.

48. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.

YES. I think it's a cowardly asshole move to stay in a relationship and cheat. If you don't want to be with me, then move on. You can't have your cake and eat it too. I'm a one man sort of girl and I want a one woman man. If we have agreed to be exclusive, we better be exclusive.

49. I remember everything about our relationship.

No I doubt. No one has that good a memory, unless they have a photographic memory and I don't. Hardly anyone deos. It's rare.

50. You should know all this and more without my telling you.

Let me roll my eyes. You aren't a mind reader. I'm not a mind reader and it takes time and experience to figure stuff like this out. There is no universal list. There is no universal anything. You need hints and blatant talk and so do I. I'm not stupid and I'm not going to expect you to know everything there is to know about women or me. And you better not assume I know everything there is to know about men or you. It takes time. Talking. Learning. Isn't that part of the fun of a relationship?

Alice in Wonderland- The Review

First things first: Chances are I'll end up accidentally spoiling something so if you don't mind hearing about a movie before you see it, go ahead and read on. If it bothers you to know any details, stop reading and come back tomorrow for a new post.

Also. I am a Burton fan. I like his style. I am also a fan of several of the actors and actresses in the movie, before the movie came out. So I may be a bit biased although I pride myself on being fairly judgmental of people I like already. I was also expecting to like the movie, based on the previews and commercials. There. My biases are out in the open.

I absolutely adored the movie. I've always loved Wonderland, as it is in the books and it's twisted and strange and delightful. I liked Burton's take on it, and it took me a while to figure out what the inhabitants of the place were calling it. Basically though, Alice is 19 and returning to Wonderland, or rather, Underland. She calls it Wonderland, mostly because she's been dreaming of the place since she was 8 but never thought of it as a real place. She's forgotten all about it though and only remembers the barest of details. It was much more idyllic when she was there when she was a child. It's almost like a metaphor for growing up. You know how when you are young, everything seems so perfect and the world is magical and then you get older and you see the darker side of life. Alice is seeing the darker side of Wonderland. And the world.

She's at her engagement party and freaking out because she doesn't really want to marry this guy and he's totally not her type. She's an idealist and a feminist and he ...has digestive problems. And believes that she should be silent and not speak. She sees the rabbit a few times and is like hmmm white rabbit. And then he proposes and she's all-need a moment. And runs off after the rabbit.

You fall in love with Alice right off the bat. The little girl playing her as an 8 year old has enormous eyes and she's cute as a button and Mia Wasikowska is lovely. She's got that-I'm not ready to grow up so how can you be making me wear corsets and get engaged to this guy. She's knowledgeable without being old. Imaginative and not afraid to speak her mind. You aren't going to pull the wool over her eyes, and she wants more then marrying this guy. No wonder she is running after rabbits and falling down rabbit holes.

Wonderland has that classic Tim Burton feel. It's strange, it's odd, it's a bit off. It's how I've always imagined Wonderland. I feel like so many people call it Wonderland and assume it's supposed to be a marvelous playground for children. But I never imagined it as that way. I mean it's got the Jabberwocky. That doesn't sound pleasant. And then the Walrus and the Carpenter tell her a story about tricking baby oysters in order to eat them. The Queen of Hearts plans on cutting off Alice's head. But then I've read both Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass and this Alice is based on both. Wonderland was never supposed to be a beautiful place for children to aspire to visit, at least I never saw it that way. Would I like to visit it, yes, I would but not because it's fabulous. Because the strangest things exist there. But I wouldn't think it a safe place. Burton is the perfect person to invent a wonderland that is not safe and perfect. It's odd, it's confusing and it's dangerous.

Alice is here for a reason though. Even if she isn't happy about it and doesn't want anything to do with it. But her former friends need her and want her to do something about the Red Queen (She's not the Queen of Hearts. The Red and White Queens are from Through the Looking Glass, which has a bit of a Chess theme while the first book has the cards.) who is busy cutting people's heads off. They have combined a few elements of the Queen of Hearts into the Red Queen.

The Red Queen is played by my favorite, Helena Bonham Carter. And she's fabulous. She has a knack for being able to give a humanity to "bad" characters. There is a reason she acts this way. I love how she manages to give this person vulnerability. It's marvelous. Plus she's hilarious. There are such great moments such as "My Jabber-baby-wocky?" and the perfect deadpan factness she says "Off with his head." There is a reason she cuts off heads, and while that was for certain written into the script, you can almost sympathize with her and then you are like NO, I can't feel sorry for this woman who uses animals as furniture and cuts off everyone's heads. It's that kind of villain that I like best. You hate them and yet, you can see where they might need a hug. I love pure bad villains too, but it's rare that one works perfectly. This movie is too complicated for a perfectly bad villain. There are too many shades of grey in Underland.

But Alice has been decreed as the person who will finally get rid of the Red Queen which is why everyone keeps bothering her and the Red Queen keeps trying to find her to get rid of her, and the Mad Hatter puts his life on the line for her. Johnny Depp is also fabulous. He has a knack for playing people who are a little off. I'm sure if's a lot of fun to play the crazy. He's often a scene stealer but I think Helena has him beat. After all-Mad is included in his character's name and sometimes it's difficult to figure out what he is saying. He speaks in a lot of riddles and mumbles frequently while she is always clear even if you can't believe what she's saying. I think the close ups on his eyes were overdone though. They are a little disconcerting. In a...why does Alice believe him way. I kept expecting him to actually be working for the Red Queen. That would have been a twist!

And then you've got the white queen. I normally love Anne Hathaway. There is something weird about her character. I think it may be her gliding. I know Hathaway described her as a gliding vegan pacifist who may have taken her vows to not hurt people without wanting to. She's supposed to be the "good" queen and obviously up against the red queen she is desirable. But I had a hard time figuring out why the inhabitants of Wonderland liked her so much. Other than she didn't cut off people's heads. She seems the type of person who if you let run your country it will go to pot because she's too busy talking to the trees to boost their spirits to pay attention to actual problems. I was expecting to see her goodness more. I saw the unwanted pacifism for sure, but the rest of it didn't always come off as I was expecting. Of course, I was also stalking information online for months before the opening so I could have built her up a certain way. She wasn't what I expected. She was good though. Not as interesting as her onscreen sister, but still good.

There is a great cast of characters playing supporting roles. Each of them are highly interesting and well created. Down to the members of the red queen's court. I imagine Burton is a bit of a vision perfectionist. He wants things to look a certain way and until they do, he won't settle for anything less. But it really plays out in great performances and cohesive looks to things. At no point in the movie was I like...why does it look like that, that's weird. It doesn't fit. I never thought that at all.

This movie is a lot darker than one might expect. It's not a dream either. They don't play it off as one. Which I liked. I think that's such a cliche ending-and then the main character woke up and discovered it was all a dream. Alice for a long time is insistent it is a dream and then eventually she is like, this isn't a dream. They do have her explaining that she fell into a hole and hit her head. But I think that's more for the rest of them then for herself. She knows this isn't a dream. One day she might return, if she can remember the way.

it does change her though. She doesn't marry the insufferable Hamlisch. And while I thought her telling a bunch of people what she thought of them was a little contrived, because since when do adults care about the opinions of children-even if that child is supposed to be an adult? (Although at the time period it's set at 21 was probably the adult age, not 19.) I did like the ending though, after Wonderland, after saying no. The possibility that there is more. I like endings that are not definite. Could there be a sequel to the movie? Yes. But I doubt it. It's open ended enough to allow one but I don't think Burton needs to add anything to the story. It's complete on it's own. And you can imagine your own thoughts to it.

I want more movies that inspire the imagination. I don't think many people sit and imagine all that often. Not in the general public. Imagining was the best way for me to kill a few hours when I was a child. It's still the best way to kill a few hours. Why else would I be an actress?

Alice in Wonderland

My sister and I went to see the midnight showing of Alice in Wonderland tonight.

I'm too tired to properly do it justice and I have to wake up early. So I'll write a double blog tomorrow to give you the scoop. Including the fun promotional stuff we had at IMAX.

There might be spoilers. But I'll give fair warning. And I'll try to come up with a way to talk about it without spoiling.

BUT! If you are going to see the movie. Keep an eye out for Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burtons kids making a cameo. I'm pretty sure I spotted them-near the end. There aren't a lot of children in the movie in extra roles which is why I'm convinced it is them. Alice shows up in a blue coat and then LOOK AT THE KIDS. It's the Burton clan.

reconnecting

I got to meet up with a family friend who I haven't seen in ages and meet her 13 year old daughter. The friend is quite a bit older than me. Although I do have friends nearer my age who are mothers. But it was nice to see her and her daughter. I was sad I missed the husband. But he was at work. (Please don't read anything disturbing into that, it's just I haven't seen him in forever and he happened to be at work when I came over.) Apparently he now works for apple. I approve. She's still teaching drama. Their cats are lovely and their daughter is the cutest thing ever. She makes me want to have children-she's that cute. I don't want children ever and she was making me want a daughter.

It was fun to see her though. I probably haven't seen her for five years or so. I'm not sure. I know I saw them at their wedding. But I think we ran into them after that once or twice but not for a long period of time. But it was nice to catch up. She didn't recognize me at first. I went over there to give them a present my parents had intended to give them when their baby was first born (they since had to return the present and get a new one since my parents took so long and I was bringing over the new present) so she wasn't expecting me and didn't recognize me at all. I'm a bit taller, look older and have darker hair so it's fair.

Her daughter is so mobile. Just took her first steps and is moving all over the place. She seems like a really happy baby. So cute. Even though she was sick she was dancing and playing. I loved it.

It's nice to reconnect with people. I wish I could reconnect with so many people. I'm bad at staying in touch. I learned it from my parents who are no good at it. I want to be better. I wish there was a way to train yourself.

march goals and others.

I have them in my head but I haven't written them down and they seem to be a lot harder to follow when not written down. I don't care how late I'm up tonight. They must be in a word document before I go to bed. I need to get my ass in gear on this.


I think my computer has a webcam. Or a camera and I wonder if it can be used as a webcam. Probably. I shall have to experiment with this.

I also need to start going to bed earlier. Sheesh.

I might foster some kittens. Unless my leasing office is a bunch of horrid about it. If I foster a cat family I don't want to have to pay 100 dollars or something. I want to pay for a pet and that be it. Little kittens shouldn't even count. They are too small. I wouldn't even tell them but I don't want to go against the lease, I think that is a bad idea. And they won't be there forever. Just temporary. But it could be long temporary like a few months. It will be lovely to have a cat around. Too bad it means having a litter box. Hopefully it can just go in the corner of the bathroom behind the door and I'll move the scale into my room. Or something. It will probably need to go near the mommy cat for a bit though, if we get a family. Since she won't want to leave her kittens for long. Cover it with one of our extra boxes or something. I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I"M GETTING A CAT YET.

I need to finish the stuff I started today. And I need to not sleep in until forever tomorrow morning. Maybe I should shower and climb in bed so the minute I get tired I can turn my computer off.

I kind of wish I wasn't home visiting my parents and I had just taken time off work to breathe. If I get a day off this week I'm not offering to cover any shifts.

march goals

I'm considering making a goal list for march because there seems so many things that I want to do that I don't. I do the stuff on my to-do list for the most part, but there the stuff that maybe doesn't have to get done I seem to put off indefinitely so I was thinking maybe a goal list for each month would help with that. A month is a lot more time then I think it is and I could set aside some time.

I'm thinking some things like fitness goals, maybe a sewing goal since I want to get back to sewing and I could borrow my sister's sewing machine for a bit, a scrapbooking goal since I have so many things that need to be scrapbooked, and maybe some exploration goals. Reading goals, since I feel like I don't read for pleasure enough. Maybe a cooking goal. I haven't thought up any yet but I feel like I need to set them soon in order to start working on them.

sleeping schedule

I've realized that closing at the theatre has really messed up my sleeping schedule and I really need to find a way to make it back on track. Really badly. I can't sleep until the middle of the afternoon all the time. It's ridiculous and I never get anything done. I always get more done if I wake up earlier. I don't know why this is, it's bizarre since I'm not a morning person by any means but it's the truth.

If I wake up before 11 I get more stuff done.

I get the most stuff done if I wake up between 9 and 10. And I'm more likely to get in exercise.

If I wake up between 8 and 9 and get about the same amount of stuff done but I'm super tired in the middle of the afternoon.

Maybe I can attempt to wean myself by waking up early and then taking naps? I have no idea.




I really prefer living on my own. I'm at home for a visit and I don't feel like an adult here. I know I'm their kid but I'm going on 24 years old. I'm not a child any longer. I support myself. For the most part. But it's like "Come help out with this!" Stuff that I don't need to be helping out with. I dunno. It's so weird being back home. I rarely come to visit and my room is practically storage now. And it doesn't really feel like home anymore. Maybe if my stuff wasn't taken over by EVERYTHING that isn't mine.