So, I didn't exactly manage to get in my 31 horror movies and other Halloween related things for the month of October. I ended up being supremely busy and while I did watch a lot of horror movies, some good (Paranormal Activity and it's sequel), some bad (Stupid Teenagers Must Die), some classic (Godzilla v. Mothra), I didn't manage a full 31, and I didn't manage to write a single blog on them. While I could go back and reflect, I'm going to chalk it up as a good attempt and move on to the idea for November: Things I am grateful for.
Now, there are a lot of things that I'm grateful for that are rather obvious ones. I'm grateful I have food and shelter, clean air and water, clothing, my family and friends, my health, so I'm probably not going to write about those things. Yes, sometimes I take these things for grated, but I want to look for grace in other places, not ones that might be staring me in the face, even if I am taking them for granted. I still greatly appreciate these things, but I want to make this a little bit challenging for myself.
In honor of our recent election, I am grateful for choices. I'm grateful that I live in a country where my opinion matters for something. Now, you could get all pessimistic and say that I am one small speck of dust and one small vote so I don't count for much, but I firmly believe that every vote, every voice counts. After all, you become one of a group that votes in the same way you do, on each person and each proposition or ballot measure. And you become part of an age demographic. Some generations clearly know how to use the demographic. Retired folk vote en masse and so their issues are the ones that end up on the ballot. Which is why I always love it when I see young people choosing to vote, maybe one day, before we are retired, politicians will have to cater to us, and ballot measures will be things we care more about.
But election aside, I am grateful that I have the ability to choose my mood. Yes, there are some things that can interfere and chemical reactions in the brain certainly affect you in a negative way even when you want to be happy. But you can also choose to be happy on a daily basis. You can choose to not dwell on negative things. Bad things are going to happen to everyone and everyone has a choice in how they deal with them.
I was talking to someone the other day, about this. He was telling me how noble it was to make a choice to go on with life and not obsess about something bad that happens. I don't think it's particularly noble, but that's me. I don't think that choosing to live my life is a noble choice, it's a choice we all make. I think choosing to be happy despite the bad things, and choosing to not seal myself up in a tower are smart choices, but they aren't noble. I don't think it's noble unless I became sort of role model, and put that sort of thing in the public domain and let others draw strength from it. That might be noble, but I don't think I want to make that particular choice.
But I am grateful that I can make the choice to be happy today, and that choice will be honored by myself. People might say mean things today, or be grouchy and rude, but I don't have to let it affect me.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
blogging in a theme
I feel like I need a way to keep my blogging self motivated. I'm not a good diarist, never have been, not thinking I will start being one now, but I intensely like the idea of keeping a blog and so far, I kinda have been sucking at it. No posts between May and October can lead oneself to believe that one may be sucking as a blogger. Plus I keep reading other people's blogs and thinking how interesting they are and how sad and lonely my own blog must be.
So I have a solution. Hopefully.
Themes for the month!
I love themes. Themes are great. I'm always bringing up themes for my life, most of which fall by the wayside shortly because I am a bit of a lazy procrastinating girl with a bit of attention deficit. I'm not ADHD, I have a good attention span, excepting things I set down for myself because sooner or later I get bored with all my ideas. Or something.
But this theme would automatically change ever 30/31 (or in the case of the red headed stepchild February 28, or 29 when it's a leap year), so that should cure my boredom of myself. Right? Of course right. It's not going to make me stop talking about the other boring things in my life, but it might inspire me to blog more which is the whole purpose.
And my themes are brilliant, at least until I get to March, but hell, if I make it that long, I should be able to come up with a March theme.
October: Halloween. I'm going to do 31 days of horror movies. I'm already behind, and I'm not going to be so bold to say I'm going to actually watch ONE a day, I'll probably have a few marathons because that's how I do, but 31 horror movies for 31 days of Halloween. I have some other fun Halloween ideas too, I LOVE Halloween. Halloween recipes, pumpkin everything, carving pumpkins, etc etc etc. I LOVE IT ALREADY. Hopefully I love it as much in the next few weeks.
November: Thanksgiving (there's even a theme to my theme!). 30 days of thankful stuff. I have less ideas for this, but it will come. And if all else fails, I'm just going to cook for a month. I'd watch some Thanksgiving movies, but do any of those exist?
December: 31 days of Christmas (and Chanukah)! There is so much Christmas stuff to do I could probably do a years worth, but here is a month. Movies for sure...Nutcracker YES! And everything else. Yummy christmas goodies.
January: 31 days of NEW THINGS. Because it's the start of a NEW year and what not. What 31 things I can do that are new, I haven't figured out yet, but that's months away, pish. It will be easy-peasy.
February: 28 days of redheaded stepchildren! Ha, no. I wish. I'm not a big fan of February, and not because it has Valentines Day which I will theme the month around. I love Valentines day, even when I'm more single than a dollar bill, I just don't like how it's all weird and has to stand out with it's 28/29 days. Can't it be normal. Why couldn't we take a day from January and give it to February so it would have more days? Why couldn't March? Or July? It's stupid. It makes no sense.
March: Yeah, I don't have ideas for this or for April, May, June, August, or September, and when I get back to October I can start all over again, because HOLIDAYS ROCK. Although I might start picking out weird random holidays. Like create your own holiday day. Although that would encompass everything and I'd get bored again. But like...whatever is National Book Month. I could talk about books. I don't think I could read a book a DAY, but that doesn't mean I couldn't read like 5 or 6 and then talk about a bunch of old favorites. THE POSSIBILITIES!
I'm kinda of excited now. Because today, I'm supposed to see two horror movies. And then I might watch the first version of one of them on Netflix afterwards. That would catch me up halfway to where I am supposed to be. I'm so on top of this. And I can't wait to blog about pumpkin carving. OH, that reminds me I have to make my Malificent and Dragon stencils for my pumpkins. And I should request Halloween off I guess, or the night off so I can feed the trick or treaters and let my pumpkins be useful and not just for my amusement. Although that is good as well.
And one of these days I want to make this blog all pretty and customized. High-ho, high-ho, it's playing with GIMP I go. After I finish my other ninety million projects. Is sleep optional yet?
So I have a solution. Hopefully.
Themes for the month!
I love themes. Themes are great. I'm always bringing up themes for my life, most of which fall by the wayside shortly because I am a bit of a lazy procrastinating girl with a bit of attention deficit. I'm not ADHD, I have a good attention span, excepting things I set down for myself because sooner or later I get bored with all my ideas. Or something.
But this theme would automatically change ever 30/31 (or in the case of the red headed stepchild February 28, or 29 when it's a leap year), so that should cure my boredom of myself. Right? Of course right. It's not going to make me stop talking about the other boring things in my life, but it might inspire me to blog more which is the whole purpose.
And my themes are brilliant, at least until I get to March, but hell, if I make it that long, I should be able to come up with a March theme.
October: Halloween. I'm going to do 31 days of horror movies. I'm already behind, and I'm not going to be so bold to say I'm going to actually watch ONE a day, I'll probably have a few marathons because that's how I do, but 31 horror movies for 31 days of Halloween. I have some other fun Halloween ideas too, I LOVE Halloween. Halloween recipes, pumpkin everything, carving pumpkins, etc etc etc. I LOVE IT ALREADY. Hopefully I love it as much in the next few weeks.
November: Thanksgiving (there's even a theme to my theme!). 30 days of thankful stuff. I have less ideas for this, but it will come. And if all else fails, I'm just going to cook for a month. I'd watch some Thanksgiving movies, but do any of those exist?
December: 31 days of Christmas (and Chanukah)! There is so much Christmas stuff to do I could probably do a years worth, but here is a month. Movies for sure...Nutcracker YES! And everything else. Yummy christmas goodies.
January: 31 days of NEW THINGS. Because it's the start of a NEW year and what not. What 31 things I can do that are new, I haven't figured out yet, but that's months away, pish. It will be easy-peasy.
February: 28 days of redheaded stepchildren! Ha, no. I wish. I'm not a big fan of February, and not because it has Valentines Day which I will theme the month around. I love Valentines day, even when I'm more single than a dollar bill, I just don't like how it's all weird and has to stand out with it's 28/29 days. Can't it be normal. Why couldn't we take a day from January and give it to February so it would have more days? Why couldn't March? Or July? It's stupid. It makes no sense.
March: Yeah, I don't have ideas for this or for April, May, June, August, or September, and when I get back to October I can start all over again, because HOLIDAYS ROCK. Although I might start picking out weird random holidays. Like create your own holiday day. Although that would encompass everything and I'd get bored again. But like...whatever is National Book Month. I could talk about books. I don't think I could read a book a DAY, but that doesn't mean I couldn't read like 5 or 6 and then talk about a bunch of old favorites. THE POSSIBILITIES!
I'm kinda of excited now. Because today, I'm supposed to see two horror movies. And then I might watch the first version of one of them on Netflix afterwards. That would catch me up halfway to where I am supposed to be. I'm so on top of this. And I can't wait to blog about pumpkin carving. OH, that reminds me I have to make my Malificent and Dragon stencils for my pumpkins. And I should request Halloween off I guess, or the night off so I can feed the trick or treaters and let my pumpkins be useful and not just for my amusement. Although that is good as well.
And one of these days I want to make this blog all pretty and customized. High-ho, high-ho, it's playing with GIMP I go. After I finish my other ninety million projects. Is sleep optional yet?
where am I going?
I’ve been thinking about what I want to do with my life.
It’s hard to say really.
Are the dreams I’ve had since I was ten years old, the dream I still want to make my life out ot be. I think so. Maybe. I do want to perform. I want to do theatre and I would be happy doing movies or TV. The problem, with most anything I do nowadays, is the motivation. Everyone else seems so much more motivated than me, to put themselves out there, to get agents, to move to New York or LA, to even go to auditions.
I want to perform, but I don’t have the energy to go get it right now. Which may be a medical problem all of itself. For lack of a better term, I’ve been highly bipolar lately. I’ll have these fabulous highs, it feels like I could accomplish anything and everything, I’m on top of the world, but then a few hours later nothing is going right. I’m stressed, I don’t have enough money, my life is a wreck. All I want to do is crawl into my bed and cry.
In those highs, I get stuff done, and in the middle ground between the highs and the lows. I got all my clothes sorted the other day. I cleaned the living room. The last night I worked, the popcorn seeds that get lodged in the floor by the drains bothered me and I dug them out with the screwdriver. The floor is now cleaner than I’ve seen it in a while. But I can’t seem to line those highs up with times for doing anything towards making my goals of being an actress. I just want to be one already. Can’t we skip the hard part?
In the meanwhile, I keep thinking about the fact that I need to make money, and even if I get my behind in gear and start going to auditions I still need to be able to live. Where I work is fine, it’s not like I dislike the job, but I don’t love it either. I’d like to be doing something more interesting, more challenging.
Money was part of the reason I started a blog to begin with, funnily enough. That, and I’ve always had this goal of documenting my life. I’m terrible at keeping a diary though, whether written on paper or typed on the internet, or just typed on my computer.
But you hear about these blogs that people actually make money off of, or they get noticed writing or something somehow through their blog. I’d love that. Kind of. But then I’d have to go through the work of coming up with interesting things to write. And sometimes all I’ve got is…I went to work today and it was okay. Doesn’t exactly make for great blogging material. And I can’t seem to think of an idea that is novel enough to start a blog around.
Well, maybe I have one, but the motivational thing….still a problem.
Thinking about making money now, besides the blog that I can’t get started aspect, I’d love to write. In the past couple of years, my writing juices have just been so open and adament about being heard. Another reason why starting a blog was tempting to me. I like writing. But I don’t know how to get paid for writing.
I also like to travel, but I don’t know how to get paid to travel.
There are numerous things I like to do that I wish I could get paid for. Traveling. Sleeping. Eating. Basically, it would be nice if someone just paid for my life. If money just fell in my lap so I could support myself and I could do things I liked without worrying about the money. I’d still want to work. I don’t think I could sit at home all day or even travel, eat, and sleep all day without needing a job, even a small part time one. I like the idea of usefulness, and having a job makes me feel useful. Maybe I’d feel different if I was getting paid to write, but I don’t know.
Someone suggested I could be a travel writer, or a food critic, or something along the lines of combining writing with something I like to do. I could, but I don’t really want to. I think I object to the idea of me “being” any of those things, making a career out of it. I don’t really like the word career, and I already identify myself as an actress. I’m an actress, who likes to travel, write and eat. And sleep, but I don’t think ANYONE gets paid long term for sleeping. If you know someone who makes a living off of sleep studies…then go ahead and prove me wrong, but I will think you are lying out your ass.
Maybe that’s my problem. I identify too much with this long term dream of mine that I’m doing nothing about that I can’t wrap my head around doing something different. I’m not sure, but I’m up again at almost 7am, meaning, I haven’t slept yet, trying to figure out what I want out of life. As if I should know at twenty four. It’s not like I’m old, I have plenty of time still to dabble and try things. And then I start worrying if I’ll ever settle down and do something. Which I’m pretty sure is a stigma of society, not something I came up with on my own.
Because, it wouldn’t really be bad if I was an actress, (once I get my act together), who dabbles in traveling, writing, eating and sleeping. And whatever else I may decide to try. Do I really have to label myself as one thing? Can I just be an adventurer? I like that idea.
It’s hard to say really.
Are the dreams I’ve had since I was ten years old, the dream I still want to make my life out ot be. I think so. Maybe. I do want to perform. I want to do theatre and I would be happy doing movies or TV. The problem, with most anything I do nowadays, is the motivation. Everyone else seems so much more motivated than me, to put themselves out there, to get agents, to move to New York or LA, to even go to auditions.
I want to perform, but I don’t have the energy to go get it right now. Which may be a medical problem all of itself. For lack of a better term, I’ve been highly bipolar lately. I’ll have these fabulous highs, it feels like I could accomplish anything and everything, I’m on top of the world, but then a few hours later nothing is going right. I’m stressed, I don’t have enough money, my life is a wreck. All I want to do is crawl into my bed and cry.
In those highs, I get stuff done, and in the middle ground between the highs and the lows. I got all my clothes sorted the other day. I cleaned the living room. The last night I worked, the popcorn seeds that get lodged in the floor by the drains bothered me and I dug them out with the screwdriver. The floor is now cleaner than I’ve seen it in a while. But I can’t seem to line those highs up with times for doing anything towards making my goals of being an actress. I just want to be one already. Can’t we skip the hard part?
In the meanwhile, I keep thinking about the fact that I need to make money, and even if I get my behind in gear and start going to auditions I still need to be able to live. Where I work is fine, it’s not like I dislike the job, but I don’t love it either. I’d like to be doing something more interesting, more challenging.
Money was part of the reason I started a blog to begin with, funnily enough. That, and I’ve always had this goal of documenting my life. I’m terrible at keeping a diary though, whether written on paper or typed on the internet, or just typed on my computer.
But you hear about these blogs that people actually make money off of, or they get noticed writing or something somehow through their blog. I’d love that. Kind of. But then I’d have to go through the work of coming up with interesting things to write. And sometimes all I’ve got is…I went to work today and it was okay. Doesn’t exactly make for great blogging material. And I can’t seem to think of an idea that is novel enough to start a blog around.
Well, maybe I have one, but the motivational thing….still a problem.
Thinking about making money now, besides the blog that I can’t get started aspect, I’d love to write. In the past couple of years, my writing juices have just been so open and adament about being heard. Another reason why starting a blog was tempting to me. I like writing. But I don’t know how to get paid for writing.
I also like to travel, but I don’t know how to get paid to travel.
There are numerous things I like to do that I wish I could get paid for. Traveling. Sleeping. Eating. Basically, it would be nice if someone just paid for my life. If money just fell in my lap so I could support myself and I could do things I liked without worrying about the money. I’d still want to work. I don’t think I could sit at home all day or even travel, eat, and sleep all day without needing a job, even a small part time one. I like the idea of usefulness, and having a job makes me feel useful. Maybe I’d feel different if I was getting paid to write, but I don’t know.
Someone suggested I could be a travel writer, or a food critic, or something along the lines of combining writing with something I like to do. I could, but I don’t really want to. I think I object to the idea of me “being” any of those things, making a career out of it. I don’t really like the word career, and I already identify myself as an actress. I’m an actress, who likes to travel, write and eat. And sleep, but I don’t think ANYONE gets paid long term for sleeping. If you know someone who makes a living off of sleep studies…then go ahead and prove me wrong, but I will think you are lying out your ass.
Maybe that’s my problem. I identify too much with this long term dream of mine that I’m doing nothing about that I can’t wrap my head around doing something different. I’m not sure, but I’m up again at almost 7am, meaning, I haven’t slept yet, trying to figure out what I want out of life. As if I should know at twenty four. It’s not like I’m old, I have plenty of time still to dabble and try things. And then I start worrying if I’ll ever settle down and do something. Which I’m pretty sure is a stigma of society, not something I came up with on my own.
Because, it wouldn’t really be bad if I was an actress, (once I get my act together), who dabbles in traveling, writing, eating and sleeping. And whatever else I may decide to try. Do I really have to label myself as one thing? Can I just be an adventurer? I like that idea.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
being a bitch and the kitten i'm going to adopt.
So the other day, I got off work at about 2am and I was craving chicken strips. Luckily there is a 24 hour carl's jr.
I go to Carl's Jr and I wait in the long line. There is always a long wait for some reason, it takes them forever to take orders and make orders. SO SLOW. I get up to the intercom, place my order and then the woman informs me it's cash only. AFTER I've waited in line, and placed and order. I don't have any cash on me and it's in the middle of the night so I'm not just going to hop over to a ATM. If there is one in this shopping center. I cancel my order and have to sit in line and wait for the three cars ahead of me to finish up. grrr. I'm annoyed and I don't have my chicken strips.
Why didn't she let me know at the beginning of my order? Why didn't they put up a sign at the beginning of the drive through so I didn't have to wait in the fucking line? They normally take cards so out of courtesy you'd think they could write "cash only" on a piece of paper and tape it out there. Give people fair warning in order to not waste my time. Some people might be only out for high munchies, but some of us are getting off work.
So, I decided I still wanted my chicken strips but I wasn't going to go to an ATM.
I went home, opened up the piggy bank I keep change in, counted out 6 dollars of dimes and nickels, put it in a plastic bag and headed back. Girl didn't even blink an eye but I felt vindicated taking out the 68 cents that I had extra in there and handing it over.
I also got my chicken strips.
In other news. I have fostered 8 kittens. 7 of them, while it was sad to give them up, I gave up pretty easily. I loved them and would have loved to keep them but I didn't need to convince myself I shouldn't be adopting a kitten. I knew it.
Number 8 refuses to be adopted out. She has found her home and she has chosen me as her owner. This is painfully obvious. She will sleep on me. I come home and she purrs. I took her to adoptions on Saturday, where she had been the previous week, and she was so grumpy. She hated it. She hissed at the other kittens and wasn't interested in any person. If someone else tried to pick her up, she avoided them like the plague. I picked her up, put her on my lap and she promptly curled up for a nap, later rolling over on her back for a belly rub.
I've been running over the pros and cons of adopting this kitten. It comes down to this, I can afford her, just barely. If I got a national tour I could take her along. If I got a cruise ship though I'd need someone to take her. I know it will be more difficult yo move to NY with a kitten. I'm fine with doing it anyway. I've planned out how this will work, down to training her to use the toilet to save on litter and to make trekking around easier.
Would it be easier to be pet less? Most certainly. Would I have more money if I was pet less? Yep.
But do I think she can find a home where she can be equally happy? No. No I don't. Even the other people that she gets along with she more tolerates then loves. She'll play with them, she'll rub against them but it's not the open her heart attachment she has with me. I didn't plan on this when I was fostering kittens because I knew I didn't want to adopt at this time. But looking at this cat I feel like it would be too cruel for me to not adopt her. She doesn't want to go to the adoption events and play nice. She would rather sit on my couch and purr.
Jasmine made her decision, it seems. And so I'm thinking I'm going to go ahead and formally claim her. And give her a new name. Jasmine is pretty but it's not a really good fit for her. She needs something shorter. Right now, I'm thinking Nala. I was thinking Pounce but she looks so much like a little lion Nala might be better. Right now she's curled up half on me half on a pillow, purring and napping away. Happy happy little kitten. Sneaking into my life. Trickster.
Oh, and while you can't tell int he picture she's a grey calico. She looks all grey but she's got muted calico coloring. <33 With fantastic jumping abilities.
I go to Carl's Jr and I wait in the long line. There is always a long wait for some reason, it takes them forever to take orders and make orders. SO SLOW. I get up to the intercom, place my order and then the woman informs me it's cash only. AFTER I've waited in line, and placed and order. I don't have any cash on me and it's in the middle of the night so I'm not just going to hop over to a ATM. If there is one in this shopping center. I cancel my order and have to sit in line and wait for the three cars ahead of me to finish up. grrr. I'm annoyed and I don't have my chicken strips.
Why didn't she let me know at the beginning of my order? Why didn't they put up a sign at the beginning of the drive through so I didn't have to wait in the fucking line? They normally take cards so out of courtesy you'd think they could write "cash only" on a piece of paper and tape it out there. Give people fair warning in order to not waste my time. Some people might be only out for high munchies, but some of us are getting off work.
So, I decided I still wanted my chicken strips but I wasn't going to go to an ATM.
I went home, opened up the piggy bank I keep change in, counted out 6 dollars of dimes and nickels, put it in a plastic bag and headed back. Girl didn't even blink an eye but I felt vindicated taking out the 68 cents that I had extra in there and handing it over.
I also got my chicken strips.
In other news. I have fostered 8 kittens. 7 of them, while it was sad to give them up, I gave up pretty easily. I loved them and would have loved to keep them but I didn't need to convince myself I shouldn't be adopting a kitten. I knew it.
Number 8 refuses to be adopted out. She has found her home and she has chosen me as her owner. This is painfully obvious. She will sleep on me. I come home and she purrs. I took her to adoptions on Saturday, where she had been the previous week, and she was so grumpy. She hated it. She hissed at the other kittens and wasn't interested in any person. If someone else tried to pick her up, she avoided them like the plague. I picked her up, put her on my lap and she promptly curled up for a nap, later rolling over on her back for a belly rub.
I've been running over the pros and cons of adopting this kitten. It comes down to this, I can afford her, just barely. If I got a national tour I could take her along. If I got a cruise ship though I'd need someone to take her. I know it will be more difficult yo move to NY with a kitten. I'm fine with doing it anyway. I've planned out how this will work, down to training her to use the toilet to save on litter and to make trekking around easier.
Would it be easier to be pet less? Most certainly. Would I have more money if I was pet less? Yep.
But do I think she can find a home where she can be equally happy? No. No I don't. Even the other people that she gets along with she more tolerates then loves. She'll play with them, she'll rub against them but it's not the open her heart attachment she has with me. I didn't plan on this when I was fostering kittens because I knew I didn't want to adopt at this time. But looking at this cat I feel like it would be too cruel for me to not adopt her. She doesn't want to go to the adoption events and play nice. She would rather sit on my couch and purr.
Jasmine made her decision, it seems. And so I'm thinking I'm going to go ahead and formally claim her. And give her a new name. Jasmine is pretty but it's not a really good fit for her. She needs something shorter. Right now, I'm thinking Nala. I was thinking Pounce but she looks so much like a little lion Nala might be better. Right now she's curled up half on me half on a pillow, purring and napping away. Happy happy little kitten. Sneaking into my life. Trickster.
Oh, and while you can't tell int he picture she's a grey calico. She looks all grey but she's got muted calico coloring. <33 With fantastic jumping abilities.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
pet peeves
I am realizing I have a lot of pet peeves.
There are lots of things that annoy me about the world and people. I may be an old curmudgeon before I hit the quarter century mark.
I don't like drivers who MUST have a spot on the first floor of the parking structure even though there are 897987 spots above them if only they would drive up a floor.
I don't like drivers who feel they should get to drive out of their first floor parking spot when there is a line of ten cars trying to get in. No, you fucking wait. You had to have that parking spot that was on the main throughway, you can wait until the line is a little less busy.
I have a lot of driving ones. I get frustrated by people's driving a lot.
I don't like it when someone complains about someone, is given a solution and they go right on complaining about it.
I don't like it when people complain about wanting/needing to lose weight and then are like....let's go to McDonalds. But when you invite them to go running/gym with you they are like /lazy. Don't whine at me then.
I don't like it when customers answer my questions with yeah, and then are like...no I don't want that. Then say no you idiots.
One of my big ones is when people assume I know nothing about a subject simply because I haven't said anything about it before, or because what I say might seem offhand. There seem to be a lot of variations of this. I get the, oh your life can't possibly have anything wrong in it and therefore you can't have experienced anything like it. Or the everyone who makes that sort of comment is just ignorant, no matter what you meant by it. Or the, you know that person has gone through a lot in their life.
I'd like to say once and for all that yes, I have experienced hardships. I may come from an upper middle class background but that doesn't mean a life full of sunshine and rainbows. There are things that lie beneath my veneer that are not clean and pretty. Sure there are people who have had it a lot worse then me. But I've gone through things that count as hardships pretty much anywhere, I just don't go about flaunting it. Some people do. Some people make their business known to everyone. I do not.
Also, I generally do not make completely uninformed comments. It's a pretty rare occurrence. I like to know about things. Especially things that I think might actually affect me. I find it ignorant when people assume I can't possibly know anything about a subject because my comment doesn't fit with their accepted viewpoints on the matter. Or that I only know the stereotypes.
When people say that so and so has gone through a lot in their life I feel they have missed the fact that I also have a life and they do not know everything that has gone on in my life. Whether someone knows me through work, or met me first online, or is even a close friend of mine, I'm a pretty private person. In recent years I've become slightly less private. I've started speaking out on issues that I feel people underestimate. Or someone will make a comment, I'll respond and people will go huh? and I feel this need to explain. I'm not trying to say that someone else's lot in life is in any way made less, but I find it obnoxious when someone goes on about how that person has gone through a lot and is this way because of it. I hate it as an excuse and I hate it more when a third party uses it as an excuse for someone else. Life has happened to me too, whether or not you know about it.
I'm not an innocent ignorant child.
Unless you know my life story, unless you know my medical history, and my family's medical history, unless you know all the good things and all the bad things, all my quirks, basically, unless you are me, you cannot make those judgements about me.
I guess basically my pet peeve is people thinking they know me.
I know it goes both ways, and I know when there is other stuff going on, it's easy to filter through that, but I feel like people are constantly making assumptions about me. I'm this or I'm that. I can't be this, I can't be that. Sometimes I just want to blow people's minds.
There are lots of things that annoy me about the world and people. I may be an old curmudgeon before I hit the quarter century mark.
I don't like drivers who MUST have a spot on the first floor of the parking structure even though there are 897987 spots above them if only they would drive up a floor.
I don't like drivers who feel they should get to drive out of their first floor parking spot when there is a line of ten cars trying to get in. No, you fucking wait. You had to have that parking spot that was on the main throughway, you can wait until the line is a little less busy.
I have a lot of driving ones. I get frustrated by people's driving a lot.
I don't like it when someone complains about someone, is given a solution and they go right on complaining about it.
I don't like it when people complain about wanting/needing to lose weight and then are like....let's go to McDonalds. But when you invite them to go running/gym with you they are like /lazy. Don't whine at me then.
I don't like it when customers answer my questions with yeah, and then are like...no I don't want that. Then say no you idiots.
One of my big ones is when people assume I know nothing about a subject simply because I haven't said anything about it before, or because what I say might seem offhand. There seem to be a lot of variations of this. I get the, oh your life can't possibly have anything wrong in it and therefore you can't have experienced anything like it. Or the everyone who makes that sort of comment is just ignorant, no matter what you meant by it. Or the, you know that person has gone through a lot in their life.
I'd like to say once and for all that yes, I have experienced hardships. I may come from an upper middle class background but that doesn't mean a life full of sunshine and rainbows. There are things that lie beneath my veneer that are not clean and pretty. Sure there are people who have had it a lot worse then me. But I've gone through things that count as hardships pretty much anywhere, I just don't go about flaunting it. Some people do. Some people make their business known to everyone. I do not.
Also, I generally do not make completely uninformed comments. It's a pretty rare occurrence. I like to know about things. Especially things that I think might actually affect me. I find it ignorant when people assume I can't possibly know anything about a subject because my comment doesn't fit with their accepted viewpoints on the matter. Or that I only know the stereotypes.
When people say that so and so has gone through a lot in their life I feel they have missed the fact that I also have a life and they do not know everything that has gone on in my life. Whether someone knows me through work, or met me first online, or is even a close friend of mine, I'm a pretty private person. In recent years I've become slightly less private. I've started speaking out on issues that I feel people underestimate. Or someone will make a comment, I'll respond and people will go huh? and I feel this need to explain. I'm not trying to say that someone else's lot in life is in any way made less, but I find it obnoxious when someone goes on about how that person has gone through a lot and is this way because of it. I hate it as an excuse and I hate it more when a third party uses it as an excuse for someone else. Life has happened to me too, whether or not you know about it.
I'm not an innocent ignorant child.
Unless you know my life story, unless you know my medical history, and my family's medical history, unless you know all the good things and all the bad things, all my quirks, basically, unless you are me, you cannot make those judgements about me.
I guess basically my pet peeve is people thinking they know me.
I know it goes both ways, and I know when there is other stuff going on, it's easy to filter through that, but I feel like people are constantly making assumptions about me. I'm this or I'm that. I can't be this, I can't be that. Sometimes I just want to blow people's minds.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
drinking age
There is a lot of debate about the drinking age in the United States.
Personally, I'm all in favor of lowering the drinking age to 18. I don't think it's reasonable to be considered an adult and not be able to fully act like one. I don't feel it is comparable to the rental car companies age discrimination of car rentals and insurance companies, because older people who continue to drive irresponsibly also get affected. A 40 year old cannot get cheap insurance if he drives badly, but a 40 year old alcoholic can still be served in bars. An insurance company could chose to give cheaper insurance to a responsible 18 year old driver. It's more a matter of choice for the company than a matter of law. Bars would still be allowed to set their own ages for that particular bar since they have the right to refuse service.
18 year olds are considered an adult in the United States. You can legally sign your name to a contract. You can sign up for the military. You no longer need a work permit and are free to find any gainful employment without any sort of permission. You can vote in all elections-you can help choose the President of the United States. You can buy cigarettes. Porn. Lottery tickets. There are plenty of dangerous things you can do at 18. But you cannot buy a drink. Adult should mean adult privileges. That should include drinking.
18 year olds are, in general, immature. 21 year olds, on a whole, are not a great deal more mature. But they are adults. They are no longer children, they are immature adults. Adults get to make their own choices. Good ones and bad ones.
But the real problem with alcohol is not the drinking age. There is going to be binge drinking whether the drinking age is 21 or 18. There will be alcohol in high schools no matter the drinking age. People will do stupid things with alcohol.
The issue is that alcohol has become a forbidden fruit in the United States, meaning that instead of having alcohol as part of a regular and healthy diet, drinking in moderation, people view it as something that is looked down upon. Instead of being taught how to safely drink, we are told NOT to drink. Yet, alcohol is glamorized in the media. No wonder that 18-21 year olds drink so unhealthily. No wonder high school students want to drink. It symbolizes being older, cooler, more edgy. Alcohol becomes this mysterious thing you are not allowed to have or do, so of course you want to.
I don't remember when I had my first drink. My parents offered it to me at some point, probably in my early teens. I was at least ten. I do remember feeling very grown up as I was poured my first glass of wine, which was hardly more than a few sips. Frequently on special occasions I was offered a celebratory drink, always just a little bit. It didn't feel like something that was forbidden. I can't say I liked it much, or probably I would have asked to have some more often. It didn't feel like something forbidden when I went off to college. I did have a few drinks here and there, but because I had been shown that I should only drink a little at a time, I didn't get drunk. In fact, the first time I got drunk was shortly before my 21st birthday. The second time, was on my 21st birthday. I never did the 21 shots in an hour or anything like that. I drank until I felt like I was drunk and then I stopped. My normal drinking is a beer or two, a couple of glasses of wine, a mixed drink, on rare occasion maybe two. My binge drinking? Three to four shots, half a bottle of wine, four beers. It can hardly be considered binge drinking.
I'm lucky. I was taught how to drink in moderation and I had good role models. I tend to be fairly mature for my age. I had already had alcohol before I went to college and I wasn't interested in first time experiences that consisted of drinking a lot. I remember being the sober friend at a party and I didn't quite understand the fun of drinking like that. I like alcohol, and I consume it on a fairly regular basis but I learned the art of moderation.
I firmly believe if alcohol was less of a mysterious adult thing to do, it wouldn't be so exciting to try. It was exciting my first time, it was exciting, but my parents were there supervising the experience. I could hardly have finished off the entire bottle of wine. But for someone whose first experience is stolen time, hidden, secret, that would only intensify the experience. I could see them doing it again to get the feeling again, and since it wasn't likely to have been controlled they could drink as much as they like. Getting drunk and this feeling of being an adult, this adrenaline rush, would suddenly get tied together. Repeat for similar feeling.
Until the attitude over alcohol changes in the United States it won't matter what the drinking age is, because it will still be a glamorized forbidden fruit. THAT is the problem.
This has nothing to do with drunk drivers, because whether you are 18 or 21, driving under the influence is still illegal. I'm in favor for stricter laws all over for that. I would not be opposed to lowering the legal limit a bit. You shouldn't have even a few drinks and go out driving without some sobering up time. Because time is the only thing that allows you to sober up. Plenty of people get behind the wheel impaired, whether or not it's legal for them. Harsher fines. Go right ahead. It's not whether or not you can get alcohol that allows for drunk driving, or prevents drunk driving, it's people thinking about the punishments. If the punishment is not worth it, you'll think twice. Especially if it's easy to arrange other transportation. People who are going to drunk drive, are going to drunk drive at any age. A 19 year old is not going to suddenly be more inclined to drive drunk simply because they can legally drink. Also, if a 19 year old and a 21 year old drink the same amount and are the same size and weight, they will likely be the same amount of impaired. You don't suddenly get less impaired at 21, you get more leeway with the legal limit.
Lower the drinking age, lower the legal limit, change the alcohol culture.
Or keep it all the same, but CHANGE THE ALCOHOL CULTURE.
Personally, I'm all in favor of lowering the drinking age to 18. I don't think it's reasonable to be considered an adult and not be able to fully act like one. I don't feel it is comparable to the rental car companies age discrimination of car rentals and insurance companies, because older people who continue to drive irresponsibly also get affected. A 40 year old cannot get cheap insurance if he drives badly, but a 40 year old alcoholic can still be served in bars. An insurance company could chose to give cheaper insurance to a responsible 18 year old driver. It's more a matter of choice for the company than a matter of law. Bars would still be allowed to set their own ages for that particular bar since they have the right to refuse service.
18 year olds are considered an adult in the United States. You can legally sign your name to a contract. You can sign up for the military. You no longer need a work permit and are free to find any gainful employment without any sort of permission. You can vote in all elections-you can help choose the President of the United States. You can buy cigarettes. Porn. Lottery tickets. There are plenty of dangerous things you can do at 18. But you cannot buy a drink. Adult should mean adult privileges. That should include drinking.
18 year olds are, in general, immature. 21 year olds, on a whole, are not a great deal more mature. But they are adults. They are no longer children, they are immature adults. Adults get to make their own choices. Good ones and bad ones.
But the real problem with alcohol is not the drinking age. There is going to be binge drinking whether the drinking age is 21 or 18. There will be alcohol in high schools no matter the drinking age. People will do stupid things with alcohol.
The issue is that alcohol has become a forbidden fruit in the United States, meaning that instead of having alcohol as part of a regular and healthy diet, drinking in moderation, people view it as something that is looked down upon. Instead of being taught how to safely drink, we are told NOT to drink. Yet, alcohol is glamorized in the media. No wonder that 18-21 year olds drink so unhealthily. No wonder high school students want to drink. It symbolizes being older, cooler, more edgy. Alcohol becomes this mysterious thing you are not allowed to have or do, so of course you want to.
I don't remember when I had my first drink. My parents offered it to me at some point, probably in my early teens. I was at least ten. I do remember feeling very grown up as I was poured my first glass of wine, which was hardly more than a few sips. Frequently on special occasions I was offered a celebratory drink, always just a little bit. It didn't feel like something that was forbidden. I can't say I liked it much, or probably I would have asked to have some more often. It didn't feel like something forbidden when I went off to college. I did have a few drinks here and there, but because I had been shown that I should only drink a little at a time, I didn't get drunk. In fact, the first time I got drunk was shortly before my 21st birthday. The second time, was on my 21st birthday. I never did the 21 shots in an hour or anything like that. I drank until I felt like I was drunk and then I stopped. My normal drinking is a beer or two, a couple of glasses of wine, a mixed drink, on rare occasion maybe two. My binge drinking? Three to four shots, half a bottle of wine, four beers. It can hardly be considered binge drinking.
I'm lucky. I was taught how to drink in moderation and I had good role models. I tend to be fairly mature for my age. I had already had alcohol before I went to college and I wasn't interested in first time experiences that consisted of drinking a lot. I remember being the sober friend at a party and I didn't quite understand the fun of drinking like that. I like alcohol, and I consume it on a fairly regular basis but I learned the art of moderation.
I firmly believe if alcohol was less of a mysterious adult thing to do, it wouldn't be so exciting to try. It was exciting my first time, it was exciting, but my parents were there supervising the experience. I could hardly have finished off the entire bottle of wine. But for someone whose first experience is stolen time, hidden, secret, that would only intensify the experience. I could see them doing it again to get the feeling again, and since it wasn't likely to have been controlled they could drink as much as they like. Getting drunk and this feeling of being an adult, this adrenaline rush, would suddenly get tied together. Repeat for similar feeling.
Until the attitude over alcohol changes in the United States it won't matter what the drinking age is, because it will still be a glamorized forbidden fruit. THAT is the problem.
This has nothing to do with drunk drivers, because whether you are 18 or 21, driving under the influence is still illegal. I'm in favor for stricter laws all over for that. I would not be opposed to lowering the legal limit a bit. You shouldn't have even a few drinks and go out driving without some sobering up time. Because time is the only thing that allows you to sober up. Plenty of people get behind the wheel impaired, whether or not it's legal for them. Harsher fines. Go right ahead. It's not whether or not you can get alcohol that allows for drunk driving, or prevents drunk driving, it's people thinking about the punishments. If the punishment is not worth it, you'll think twice. Especially if it's easy to arrange other transportation. People who are going to drunk drive, are going to drunk drive at any age. A 19 year old is not going to suddenly be more inclined to drive drunk simply because they can legally drink. Also, if a 19 year old and a 21 year old drink the same amount and are the same size and weight, they will likely be the same amount of impaired. You don't suddenly get less impaired at 21, you get more leeway with the legal limit.
Lower the drinking age, lower the legal limit, change the alcohol culture.
Or keep it all the same, but CHANGE THE ALCOHOL CULTURE.
Monday, May 3, 2010
A Conversation Between Me and the Kittens
My new kittens, Daisy and Violet, are super vocal.
Me: -walks into the bathroom, where they live because they are not totally litterbox trained yet-
Kittens:-take 15.6 seconds to figure out who came in the door- MOMMY! MOMMY! It's mommy Daisy! Violet! Mommy just came in!
Me: Hi kitten faces.
Kittens: Mommy! -paws up on my leg- Mommy, we are hungry kittens and we want wet food. It's been such a long time since we had wet food.
Me: No, babies, no wet food for you. It's been upsetting your tummies.
Kittens: Wet food mommy! Please please please. Wet food! We are so hungry and it would be so good.
Me: Dry food.
Kittens: -start to climb up my legs- Mommy! Wet food is so good. It is our favorite. Please mommy! See how cute we are? Don't you want us to grow up big and strong?
Me: Dry food.
Kittens: Mommy! Mommmmmmmmmmmmmmmy! Mommy!!!!!! Wet food! Wet foooooooooooood! We don't like dry food as much.
Me: -puts them in front of the dry food-
Kittens: -sniff- This is not what we wanted. No want. We'll make it clear. Wet. Food.
Me: No, babies.
They've been getting more out of the bathroom time to distract them from the fact that I have not been giving them dinner in the form of wet food. They have dry food in the bathroom round the clock but I was just giving it to them twice a day, then I cut it down to once a day when it looked like it was upsetting them. And I'm cutting it out entirely now. It helped my first set of fosters. But if halfway through tomorrow they still are having issues I have to contact the medical person. They act like healthy kittens but one was throwing up after every canned food eating and the other is having way too soft poop. Which can mean they get really dehydrated. Since they are formally feral cats they might just have some sort of parasite which is way treatable, but I hope it's just them not being used to the canned food diet. It fixed all problems with the first babies, switching them to all dry food temporarily. But it's so heartbreaking when they cry at me and I know what they want.
Me: -walks into the bathroom, where they live because they are not totally litterbox trained yet-
Kittens:-take 15.6 seconds to figure out who came in the door- MOMMY! MOMMY! It's mommy Daisy! Violet! Mommy just came in!
Me: Hi kitten faces.
Kittens: Mommy! -paws up on my leg- Mommy, we are hungry kittens and we want wet food. It's been such a long time since we had wet food.
Me: No, babies, no wet food for you. It's been upsetting your tummies.
Kittens: Wet food mommy! Please please please. Wet food! We are so hungry and it would be so good.
Me: Dry food.
Kittens: -start to climb up my legs- Mommy! Wet food is so good. It is our favorite. Please mommy! See how cute we are? Don't you want us to grow up big and strong?
Me: Dry food.
Kittens: Mommy! Mommmmmmmmmmmmmmmy! Mommy!!!!!! Wet food! Wet foooooooooooood! We don't like dry food as much.
Me: -puts them in front of the dry food-
Kittens: -sniff- This is not what we wanted. No want. We'll make it clear. Wet. Food.
Me: No, babies.
They've been getting more out of the bathroom time to distract them from the fact that I have not been giving them dinner in the form of wet food. They have dry food in the bathroom round the clock but I was just giving it to them twice a day, then I cut it down to once a day when it looked like it was upsetting them. And I'm cutting it out entirely now. It helped my first set of fosters. But if halfway through tomorrow they still are having issues I have to contact the medical person. They act like healthy kittens but one was throwing up after every canned food eating and the other is having way too soft poop. Which can mean they get really dehydrated. Since they are formally feral cats they might just have some sort of parasite which is way treatable, but I hope it's just them not being used to the canned food diet. It fixed all problems with the first babies, switching them to all dry food temporarily. But it's so heartbreaking when they cry at me and I know what they want.
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